A Heart Break In Time

Take It Easy. You're Only A Genius On Earth, Pal.

I walked to her office in a slight panic. Was something wrong with Bucky? Kai? Eva or Angel?  Even Sam and Bruce would go to see her on occasion, it could be anyone. I worried the entire way until I got to her office. I knocked.

"Come on in." Dr. Sloan called out. I walked in and saw her in the chair, she smiled at me and gestured for me to sit on the couch. I turned and saw someone already sitting there. Bucky.

I sat next to him. "Hey, is everything okay?" I grabbed his arm. He turned to me and smiled but didn't answer, so I looked to Dr. Sloan. "Is everything okay?" I repeated.

"Of course. I was just hoping you'd be open to join us for part of this session with James, if that's all right?"

James? I looked at Bucky when I answered. "Sure, if that's what you want, I'm here."

"Great." Dr. Sloan smiled. "James, did you want to start?"

"I'm not sure how to." He responded, looking at his hands.

"Why don't you tell Talia why you asked for her to be here? I'm sure she's curious."

Bucky took a deep breath in and slowly let it out. "I want you here because I'm not good with expressing my words. For seventy years I didn't have to talk much..." I tightened my grip on his arm. I was holding the left one, but I knew he could feel the pressure. "I'm not really good at doing it now."

"I know, Buck. You can tell me anything though, you know that."

Bucky looked up and gave me a small smile. "Yeah. I know that. Can you... can you switch sides?"

"Switch sides?" I questioned. "Is it the arm?"

"Yeah." Bucky admitted, looking ashamed. "It's hurt too many people. It makes me uncomfortable."

"Hey," I grabbed his face. "This one hasn't. All this ones done is save the world and fix a boat." Bucky chuckled. "But sure, I'll switch." I got up and walked to the other side of him, lacing our fingers together when I sat down. "Better?"

"Thank you." Bucky gave my hand a small squeeze.

"Now Talia," Dr. Sloan spoke up. "Do you have any idea what James would want to talk about?"

I hesitated. "Um, I guess. The situation with me, him... and Kai." I looked at Bucky questioningly. He gave a small nod and I turned my attention back to Dr. Sloan. "It's complicated."

"James? Do you think it's complicated?" Dr. Sloan asked him.

"No. Not really." Bucky answered and I looked confused and moved away from him to turn towards him. What about this wasn't complicated? He was my ex's best friend. Complicated. I had feelings for someone else. Complicated. We were training that someone else. Complicated.

"Talia. You look confused."

I gave a harsh laugh. "Of course I do. I am confused. This is complicated, I don't see how it's not."

Bucky looked up at Dr. Sloan and she gave him a nod. He kept looking at her as he talked. "So you like Kai, I'm not asking you to marry me. I want to be with you, be around you. I want to be able to kiss you. Take you on dates... I just don't want to hide how I feel for you anymore." He sighed. "I did that long enough."

I sat quietly as I processed his words. It makes sense that he's always felt that way for me, even when I was with Steve. I started to feel awful, thinking about how often Bucky would tag along with us while we were together. I never wanted to make him feel left out, often I would force him to come with us... I didn't even think about that possibility. I could feel Dr. Sloan staring at me but I wasn't sure what to say to that.

"Talia, did you want to say anything?" She asked me but I could only shrug in response, I was speechless. "Mind if I continue?" I nodded. "James has expressed how he feels for you, you feel for him as well, yes?" I responded with a nod again. "And you're concerned about it being complicated because of Kai, whom you also have feelings for?"

I cleared my throat. "Kai is also one of your clients. Isn't this a conflict of interest or something?"

"I have no personal interest in my client's personal lives. If you are with Bucky, or Kai, or both, or neither, this affects me none. I'm only here to help my clients better express themselves and gather coping skills for their trauma. I make no decisions for any of them. If Kai requested you here, we'd be having the same conversation."

"Okay."

"If I may just say, I read your file and-"

I tensed up. "Excuse me? Why did you read my file?"

"I read about all the Avengers, in case any of you came to me. That's why I'm here."

"My file was none of your business. I didn't ask for that. In no way did I allow that."

Dr. Sloan nodded. "Fury gave me the authorization. I did not need your permission, though I am sorry if the realization upset you. Would you like to talk about why?"

"No. This is Bucky's session, not mine." I sat back on the couch with my arms crossed. Bucky reached his arm out and placed it on my thigh. I relaxed my body a bit, feeling comforted by his touch, but I still continued to glare at her.

"I understand that, but I think it may relate. Your past has a correlation to your aversion of relationships, especially any one you may deem as 'complicated.'" I didn't respond, just kept my eyes on her. "I'll continue. You lost your parents at a young age, later 'adopted', you were brought into the Red Room. Trained as a spy that all relationships are insignificant, their only purpose being to further benefit a mission; an end game. Then, you leave. You meet the Avengers and form a relationship with Steve. Together, you both led the Avengers, had very little down time. It was mission after mission. You found James, you went to Wakanda. You were with Steve, but you stayed there with James while he was in the cyrofreeze, if I'm correct."

"Yes."

"So your boyfriend is on the run, traveling around, hiding. And you stayed with James, even though he was frozen and didn't need you there."

It wasn't a question but I felt the need to explain. "I didn't want Bucky to be alone. They kept him frozen until the moment they could figure out how to get the trigger words out of his head. I needed to be there when they woke him up."

"Why?" Dr. Sloan asked.

"Why?" I repeated.

She nodded and put her clipboard down on her lap. "Yes. Why did you, yourself, need to be there when they woke him up? You trusted Shuri and T'Challa, and their people, yes? So why you?"

"He needed someone he trusts, I don't get what you're implying."

"Okay, let's try this. The accords. You fought against both Natasha and Tony, the closest people you had to family. And that had nothing to do with the actual accords if I heard correctly."

"No. It was to keep Bucky and Wanda safe."