A Heart Break In Time

I Just Got Hit In The Head With The Hulk.

Once Bucky left, Dr. Sloan looked at me and smiled. "I'm glad you decided to stay. Was there something you'd like to talk about?"

I shifted on the couch, suddenly without Bucky being here I felt empty, alone, and exposed. I know that's typically the point of therapy, but without him here it felt wrong. "I uh... Do you think Bucky's right? That I don't know what love is?"

"How would you?"

"I loved multiple people. Natasha, Clint, Tony, Pepper, Morgan-"

Dr. Sloan interrupted. "You love them, but did you fully? Did you trust them? Did you let them in?" I didn't respond. "Love isn't one sided. You have to let someone love you back. And onto something similar, have you ever been in love? Deep, full, love?"

"I was engaged." I argued.

"Yes, to Steve Rodgers. I'm aware. But your engagement ended, what? A month ago? And here you are, talking about your love for two other men."

I tensed up. "I'm sure you not slut shaming me right now."

Dr. Sloan let out a small laugh. "Of course not, I'm just asking you to look back on your relationship with Steve. How deeply were you really in it? Think about the best day you've had with him, that feeling. Now think about how you just felt earlier with James's hand in yours. Do they compare?"

I didn't have to think about that. Of course they didn't. I already figured that out on my own. But to be reminded of it, felt uncomfortable. I was with him for years, we were engaged. I should've felt more. "Why wasn't I in love with him?" I asked.

"I did say earlier, you weren't taught to. You saw no positive relationships in your life, there were all a means to an end. But Steve made you feel wanted. You healed whatever part of him needed healing. And it made you feel how you expected love to feel."

I nodded. After leaving the Red Room, staying with Clint and Natasha, I felt alone. They were gone with SHIELD and I stayed behind. I missed them, they were all I knew. And then I met Steve. And the rest of the Avengers. And I was family. Steve was safe. Captain America. The hero, the Avenger's moral compass. Until he wasn't. "Thank you, Dr. Sloan."

"Again, Talia. It's Lexie." She smiled. "Unless you plan on becoming my client full time now."

I laughed. "When should I come back?"

"Next week, around this time? You can go after James." She smiled and I stood up.

"Thank you. I'll see you then." I walked out.

When I got to the living room I saw no one around. "FRIDAY, where is everyone?"

"Everyone is in the training room, Miss Aimilios, with the exception of Dr. Banner, who is in the lab."

"Thanks FRIDAY." I made my way to the training room and smiled as I opened the door. Steve and Eva were sparring, a focused look on her face as she continuously swung to try to hit Steve. He looked bored as he just dodged her attacks. Angel and Sam were on treadmills, running side by side with their shared headphones dangling in between them. Every time I saw them, I was continuously reminded of how stinking cute they are. Bucky was punching a punching bag. He was shirtless, which was rare outside of his own room, and sweaty. Very sweaty. I could see it all dripping down his shoulders and back as he grunted, hitting the punching bag. Kai was laying on the bench press, lifting weights. He was also shirtless, his scars on his left showing. I realized that he, Bucky, and I all have scars on our left side. The realization caused me to let out a small giggle which caused Bucky to look back at me.

He turned and smiled, grabbing the punching bag to stop it and walked over to me. "Hey, doll." He wrapped his right arm around me, pulling me close and kissing me. I kissed back, very aware of his exposed body. He slid his tongue along my bottom lip so I opened my mouth, our tongues rubbed together and I leaned towards him more. Then suddenly I was very aware that we had an audience. I pulled back, Bucky's arm still around me. Steve and Eva stopped sparring, both looking at us with shocked faces. Sam and Angel kept running but were staring at us. Rhodey, who I didn't see before, was frozen at the leg press, looking at us. And finally I looked to Kai. Hurt was all over his face and he quickly put the weights down and crawled out from under the bar, grabbed his bag and walked to the shower room.

I sighed. "I'll see you later." I reached up and kissed Bucky quickly before following after Kai. I saw him putting his bag in the locker. "Kai."

"Don't, Talia. I get it, you choose him. You don't have to explain. It's fine." He slammed his locker closed.

I stepped towards him. "Interesting, I didn't know you read minds too, how cool."

"Are you seriously joking right now?" He snapped.

"If you can't read minds, how about you let me talk before you decide what I'm going to say?" I tilted my head at him, he didn't say anything back. "Great." I took another step forward. "I have feelings for Bucky. You know that. But," another step forward. "I also have feelings for you, Kai. You also know that." I took another step forward, I was now close enough to touch him. "I didn't choose him. I didn't choose anyone. I just choose to not hide how I feel anymore. For either of you. How ever you want to handle that is fine I'm just telling you-"

Kai stopped me by grabbing the back of my head and slammed our lips together. He dropped the towel he was holding in his right arm and brought it to my waist, pulling me tightly against him. We kissed as his grip in my hair tightened. I pulled back with a gasp as he kissed down my neck. "No more hiding?" He whispered.

"No, no hiding." I sighed out.

"Good." He bit down on my neck roughly. I gasped and he grabbed me by my thighs, lifting me up and wrapping my legs around him. He stepped forward, kissing down my neck until we hit the shower wall. We stopped and he went back to kissing me. One of his hands left my side and I held on tighter.

And then suddenly the shower was on. "Kai!" I screamed, pulling away from him laughing.

Kai laughed with me, pulling me close again and placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. "No hiding."

I leaned against him. "No hiding."