Denial [ n.s] EDITING

Chapter 40 - Shivers

Chapter forty
Sawyer,

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'Dad?' I said as his eyes peered open slowly.

'Sawyer, what are you doing here?' His tone sounding almost shocked. I wouldn't exactly blame him. The sole purpose of me coming here in the first place was to take care of him and I've been distracted by Nathan. I haven't even checked on how he -- my own father -- is doing.

'I came to see how you were holding up' I smiled and found a spot on the small sofa that was opposite of the hospital bed that was occupied by my father.

'I've been here for about a month now, Sawyer. It feels like home already' he laughed a little which caused him to cough. He was better, much better than the last time but he wasn't a hundred percent healthy. He still needed to get better, and he'd be able to do that at home.

'You need to come home, Dad'

'But I'm a burden, Sawyer. I don't want you having to miss out on your life in California just 'cause you have to take care of your irresponsible old father. I don't want you wasting any more time being unhappy here, in Gloucester'

He wasn't - isn't a burden. Sure, he's done a few things that haven't exactly been the best for me but he can't help it and he really needs someone to take care of him. Who else is there besides his one daughter? He needs to know that I don't hate him and it wasn't him that caused me any amount of unhappiness.

'No, don't say that. You aren't a burden, okay? Just, I'm getting you out of this stinking hospital room' I walked out to find the doctor and asked her everything that I had needed to know. I wasn't going to let him stay here any longer and made sure that the doctor knew that. Thankfully, we had a compromise and she allowed me to take him back home. Sure, there were a few things that had to be monitored and made sure of but it was nothing I couldn't handle.

'We're going home' I smiled as I began to pack up the things that were scattered around and belonged to Dad. The car ride home was short but he definitely enjoyed being able to look out of the window and see things that were actually different. I know my father isn't exactly the nicest or most deserving person but it wasn't my place to treat him the way I did. Or at least I don't think it was.

I grabbed the keys to the front door and proceeded to unlock the door as I turned around to see him with a wide smile. I was relieved to know that he could walk properly and what not though what he had wouldn't have really affected his movement. I shut the door behind me after I got Dad's bags. Thank god I had cleaned up after mine and Nathan's events yesterday considering the house was a complete mess. Chocolate wrappers, pizza boxes, empty glasses all over. It would've given my dad another heart attack.

It was almost 10 at night and I found my Dad sat in front of the TV watching a football match. Couldn't imagine how much he would've missed that ha ha. I downed a glass of water before placing it in the dishwasher. I remembered how I hadn't eaten all day and my stomach was starting to rumble. 'Uh, I think I'm gonna order something in. You want anything?' I asked as I dialed the number to Wagamama since I didn't exactly want to leave the house.

'No, I'm fine. You go ahead and get something for yourself' he shouted from the living room - his eyes focused on the wide screen of the TV.

'Okie dokie' I began to place my order. I felt happy with myself as I was able to get a lot of things done in the few hours that Dad had been back. The house was tidy and yeah, I've got nothing else to do here besides that so..

'Alright, thank you Lynn.' I hung up on Lynn, the person who was taking my order.

I peeked outside the window to see it dark. Obviously, I mean it was 10 o'clock anyway. I was curious as to how it felt outside. The weather and all.

I decided to go outside and sit at the steps of the front door. I tugged onto the sleeves of my jumper as it was windy. I took a deep breath and inhaled the cold, crisp air. It felt good. I needed this badly.

I lowered my body and sat on the last step of the stairs that led to the front door. I looked up only to see dozens of stars scattered beautifully on the night sky. The only light that I was getting was from the moon that was shining brightly.

Just as both my eyelids shut, I heard a noise. My eyes began scanning to see if anyone were there but there was no one in sight. Then again, it was dark so I wouldn't be able to see anyone who wasn't close enough.

I ignored that thought and shut my eyes yet again. Seconds later, I felt someone shake my shoulder.

My body filled was filled with panic but it had disappeared when I opened my eyes to see Nathan, stood there in his grey sweater.

'Hi' he smiled.

'Hi?!' I stood up and frantically pushed him aside so that my Dad wouldn't be able to see him from inside. 'What the hell are you doing here?!'

'I came to check on you. Actually, I just wanted to spend some time with you and um, needed to talk to you' his gaze was on mine while I made sure that he couldn't be seen, 'W-what are you doing? Is there someone inside?' He asked in confusion.

'Uhh, my, uhm,' I had no clue as to why I was feeling so nervous or scared. The thought of my father and Nathan being in the same place or at my Dad's house just scared me. Especially after what happened the last time they saw each other.

I found myself on the ground, hovering myself. Nathan got onto his knees so that he'd be levelled with me and wrapped his warm arms around me. 'What is it, Lea?'

'My dad. He's home' I mumbled as I started to shiver.

'Right now like this second? How, uhm, when?'

'I brought him home just hours ago. I don't know what was up with myself, I just needed him back home. It didn't feel right having him be at the hospital' my shivers worsened, 'I-I'm scared'

'Don't be. I'm here but that's making things worse. It'll be fine, I'll leave okay?'

'N-no please'

'Lea, it's fine. Get inside, it's bloody freezing. Text me when you can, alright?' He planted a kiss on my forehead and helped me up.

Just before pulling away from our intertwined fingers, his fingers squeezed mine and then, he left.

His kiss confused me but it was fucking freezing and I needed to get inside. I shut the door behind me to see that Dad was still busy with his football. I ran upstairs and tried my best to avoid any loud movements.

I hovered over myself as the shivering slowly stopped. I was anxious and basically over thinking the whole situation. I know that now. My body just takes over me sometimes and I can't help that. I shut my eyes and tried to erase all my thoughts. The sound of my stomach grumbling gave me discomfort. Wagamama, come soon.

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A/N; yo is this chapter stupid? idk. But hope you liiiiiike it and I think I may update again later. nooo promises though. & thank u sm for like 14.7K reads ?!?! love u butts xxo