Denial [ n.s] EDITING

Chapter 59 - Uncontrollable Remarks

Chapter fifty nine
Sawyer.

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"What about doctor's appointments? Have you been going as planned? Has he prescribed anything else? Has he mentioned if you've gotten better?" I shoot questions at the man stood in front of me; my father.

"And I thought your mother was paranoid," he says, "Calm down, Sawyer. I haven't missed one appointment and the doctor's said that things are going well,"

"Things are going well, isn't that some doctor code for things are proper shit?" I blurt, "I'm losing my mind, I'm sorry" I laugh.

"Don't we all, sometimes?" He replies, "come over here, sit down. I don't understand why you're doing the dishes, you're only going to be here few days"

"Forced habit," I say as I wipe my wet hands on a kitchen towel before making myself comfortable on the couch.

I've been here a good few hours, my dad and I went for a good ol' Sainsbury's run just as I got here, then we ended up ordering in and just talking; catching up, for hours which felt good.

I'd barely checked my phone which would probably be blown up by texts from Nathan, though he did know where and who I was with. I suppose I was just spending much needed time with my father. Properly.

"Don't you have a thing tonight? It's almost five, and if I recall correctly, you take bloody ages to get dressed," Dad teases.

"First of all, just because you've lived here for a while doesn't mean you're automatically English you bloody American," I mock, "secondly, thank you for reminding me" I say, almost immediately sprinting up the stairs.

Well that's an exaggeration since I don't sprint, especially not on stairs.

"Shit, I'm going to be late," I mutter on my way up.

++

6:25 p.m

Just as I'm fresh out of the shower, I check my phone to see the time along with a voicemail from Nathan. I was mentally cursing at myself, hoping I didn't take too long in the shower.

I play the message as I fumble about in my towel, before finding the clothes in my bag.

"Hey" his voice spoke, "I know you're at your dad's, which was why I didn't call, until now" he says, "you're probably doing something much more productive than battling with a tie. I swear to god, these things were easier when I was 10, though Mum did help me most of the time" I laugh at the way he starts to fumble his words, and at the pace of his voice. He was nervous.

"I'm not saying your 20 year old boyfriend doesn't know how to do a tie," he sighs, "I just miss you and I'm nervous for tonight, and," he stops, "never mind. I'm sure you aren't acting as ridiculous as I am. Are you? You have no reason to be, if you are. God, I'm blabbering. I'll see you soon," he says, just as I hear the long beep, signalling the end of the message.

I slip on the white maxi dress that I'd gotten with Karen, in ASOS yesterday. Yes, I was genuinely surprised at how much of a great fit it still was. Yes, I don't doubt my ability to gain weight in the period of 12 hours.

Once I was done with looking myself in the mirror and being unreasonably self conscious, I straightened my hair with a flat iron until I was satisfied. Then, paired my outfit with a simple, long necklace and a pair of gold earrings to match.