Denial [ n.s] EDITING

denial

|| a/n: I started this story when I was thirteen so I do apologize for the first thirty or so chapters??? they get better, i swear.

originally published: 29th May 2014.
edited: 26th march 2019 ||

denial; refusal to acknowledge an unacceptable truth or emotion or to admit
it into consciousness, used as a defence mechanism.

—

Chapter One,
Sawyer's POV,

Hannah and I were at the Gloucester Quays outlet, shopping for some clothes. It was always the first thing we'd do when we got here. It's somehow become a tradition.

"Looooooook at this!!" Hannah dragged my hand, pulling me towards a section that was filled with dresses.

"Oh, lord. Go insane, Hannah," I laughed before shaking my head.

I opted to help her find a few dresses since I wasn't actually looking to buy anything. Just then, I found a white floral high-low dress. I didn't have the greatest taste but I had a feeling it'd be something that Hannah would wear.

"Lea, that's perfect!" To my pleasure, she liked it, "I'm gonna go try it on, give me a sec," she says before disappearing into a different aisle.

I nodded my head and stayed in the same section, aimlessly looking at different dresses. None of which caught my attention, until I bumped into someone.

"I'm so sorry," I mutter, before I could even look up to the person.

It was someone in his mid-thirties, I'd say; cigarette in one hand and the stench of alcohol reeking from his body.

"It's alright, love" he says, before stepping closer to me.

"I don't think you're meant to be doing that in here," I say, motioning towards the cigarette in his hand.

"If you don't like it, do something about it," is all he says. At this point, the stench of alcohol was about to make me nauseous.

"Right, okay well I'm going to leave. Have a good day," I do my best at masking my paranoia before he grabs me by my arm, "excuse me?!"

"Ssh," he says, his left hand sliding into the back pocket of his jeans. He was about to grab something–a knife?

Don't panic, Lea.

"If you need cash, I'll give it to you. Just let me–" I try to reach into my bag but he tightens his grip on me.

I have no idea how I'd managed to go this long without having a mental freak out or tearing up.

"Oh god, shut the fuck up. Why are you so chatty?"

"Just let me go,"

"What are ya going to do? Scream?" He chuckles.

Well, shit. I will if I have to. God, where are you Hannah?

I feel his grip move from my arm to my waist, as a cold surface hit my neck. It was a knife. Instantly, shivers fled through my body and my breaths started to quicken.

Talking isn't going to get me out of this. Just scream, Lea. I couldn't. I was frozen. It felt like a dream and all I could do was stand still and watch.

I was suddenly interrupted by a punch.

My vision was blurry and my eyes were puffy from tears. At this point, I hadn't even noticed that I was crying.

I found myself clutching to my knees, on the ground. Seconds later, there was a security officer taking the sick man away.

"Are you alright?" I heard someone ask me. I couldn't process anything properly but I was almost certain that he was the one who punched the guy.

"I–I'm fine," I stumbled my words.

I wiped away my tears with the sleeves of my sweater, and blinked a few times to clear my vision.

His green eyes were staring right at me; he was kneeled in front of me.

"Uh?" He questions, causing me to snap back into reality. Shit, I wasn't staring, was I?

"God, I'm sorry.. yeah?"

He looked at me, like he was expecting something and then said, "well, you're welcome"

"Oh.. Yeah. Of course. Thank you for.. that," I say, trying my best to smile but I was still struggling to process everything.

"No worries, just try not to wander around alone and strike a conversation with perverts, yeah?"

"Okay," is all I say as he walks away. He had a few tattoos peeking out from the sleeves of his rolled-up jacket.

"It's perfect!" Hannah's voice suddenly says, startling me.

"Geez, you look like you've just seen a ghost," she says, when I don't respond.

"Not exactly," I mutter, "you look gorgeous though! You should definitely get it,"

"Right?!" She says; looking at herself in the mirror, "well, I'm ready to go!"

"Hannah," I start, "you need to get out of the dress first,"

"Fine," she whines like a five-year old, before returning to the dressing room.

I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if it weren't for that boy helping me.

—
a/n: hi! i'm working on rewriting the chapters. i've unpublished the first 20 chapters. they were so cringe so i'm just trying to un-cringe them :)