Denial [ n.s] EDITING

Chapter 61 - Everything's Fine, Except Us

Chapter sixty-one.
Sawyer.

As I'd predicted, I woke up alone. On the right side of the right bed without the right person. Instead of crying myself to sleep or beating myself up over the fact that my boyfriend had zero interest in "making love to me" oh, cut the crap. He didn't want to have sex with me.

I'd put that tempting opportunity aside and instead, fell asleep reading some romantic sop story on my phone. You know, "it's not you, it's me" yeah, that load of bull.

Whilst in the shower, it got me thinking how one of the reasons I had agreed so quickly on making one trip back to Gloucester with Nathan was being able to spend some time with my father, too. As per usual, that plan went to shit since I've spent every night here, in Nathan's room, under his family's roof. It still surprises me how my dad hasn't once, questioned where I've spent all these nights.

Let's be honest, he probably knows about Nathan and I. This isn't even the time to worry about that, not now.

To my pleasure, I return to his room and it was the same as when I left; empty. I quickly grab a pair of shorts and one of Nathan's grey jumpers. It'd be a sign that I didn't care about last night and that I was fine. I am fine, it's not a big deal.

Another routine of mine was throwing my lion's mane, I mean my hair, into a messy ponytail. Then, I led myself to the kitchen seeing as the faint smell of waffles were tempting enough.

"Morning, doll" Karen smiled and I returned, "Good morning," I turned to the side to see Jess, indulging in some maple syrup. Yes, she was straight up pouring in into her mouth.

"Oh god, Jess. It's barely noon and you're giving yourself diabetes" Karen retorts and I laugh, "I do the same thing at home, but with the chocolate syrup instead. God, you should try it." Just then, she throws the chocolate syrup bottle to me, from the other side of the counter and I catch it just in time. Jess giving me a wink as I squeeze some into my mouth.

"Well, looks like breakfast is sorted," Jess says as we laugh in unison.

"What in the name of god is happening in here?" Nathan's groggy voice fills the room. I turn around and our eyes meet instantly. His hair was fluffy; bed hair. He had bags under his eyes and hadn't looked like he'd gotten any sleep at all.

"Nathan?" I hear Karen call, both of us snapping back into reality, "I was asking about your plans for today? If you had any,"

"Mum, calm down its only eight in the morning," he says, rubbing his eyes, "Can we talk?" He mouths to me, cocking his head to the living room.

I nod and follow behind, already sensing the suspicion in both Karen and Jess. I mean, I'm sure Nathan sleeping on the couch was enough to be suspicious about.

"Hey," I say, kissing his cheek "you don't look like you got much sleep" I pull away, and notice how taken back he was.

"Lea, you don't understand how sorry I am for last night. I swear, I wanted to, I did. Fuck, I do. It's just, there are things I need to–"

"It's fine," I interrupt, "everything's fine. Why are you so worked up over nothing" I force a smile, "You should get some sleep, you need it" I say, tracing his cheek with my fingers before going back into the kitchen.

Ooh, the sweet smell of waffles, and diabetes.

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