Denial [ n.s] EDITING

Chapter 41 - Lost

My heart goes out to Directioners and my best friend who's struggling so much in this situation. I hate to see everyone like this and no, I may not be a Directioner but nobody deserves to go through anything like this. I'm sorry.

- uhmmccann.
25/3/15.

Chapter forty one
Nathan,

~

It had only been two days since I found out that Lea had brought her dad back home. A part of me felt worthless without her but I also knew that she was probably enjoying the time with her father. The time she's been needing with him for the past couple of years. Just the two of them alone.

I started going through a few of my things which was just one of my productive activities when I stumbled upon a few photographs. It was from a couple weeks ago when Clara and I were at a small party with the usual lot ; Betsy, Ollie, Andie and a few others. We had way too many drinks and it clearly showed in the photos. It was a good night though. It was the night where Clara and I actually admitted to having feelings for each other and not having things just be physical. The last photo was intimate.. My arms were held on to Clara's waist as hers were wrapped around my neck. It was when they music got slow and I asked her to dance with me, despite the fact that I was proper shit at it. Our gazes were focused on each other and everything looked so ... believable.

I shoved the photos back into the box and covered it then chucked it back under my bed. I ran downstairs to see Mum busy in the kitchen. I popped in and asked, 'You need help?'

'Oh please Nathan, you can barely fry an egg. Wouldn't want you anyway near this' Mum let out a cheeky smile. 'Hey! I make a killer stir fry and you loved it. Yeah, don't forget that!'

'If you say so, Nathan' she laughed. 'I do need a few things from Waitrose and you seem to be bored so would you please-'

'Yes yes yes, I will' I nodded my head continuously before giving her a small kiss on her cheeks and running along.

Right after checking out with the things Mum needed, I headed to a nearby coffee shop to get a drink since Starbucks was way too far. And no, I haven't given up on Starbucks. When I'm desperate, I'll drive wherever whenever to get my Iced Vanilla Latte.

'Thank you' I smiled at the lady standing behind the cashier as I got my drink. I went to get a straw when I saw someone sat at the table right at the end, beside the large windows that displayed the cafe from outside.

'Hey' I said as I raised my eyebrows, facing here. 'What are you doing here all alone?' I pulled another chair to the table and sat in front of her.

'Uhh, I haven't got any friends to hang out with here, have I?' Her eyes darted away from mine. Almost seeming like she avoided looking into mine. 'Lea, you have me. What are you talking about'

'I don't, Nathan. I don't have you and I don't have anyone here. I'm all alone, can't you see? It's just-' her voice was followed by a sigh and then her face disappeared as she covered it with both her palms. 'Why do you say that?' I said but no response followed. 'Lea, just look at me, please'

It took a while before she finally looked straight at me. Eyes red, dried black tears from mascara plastered on her cheeks. She looked exhausted as well. Not the kind of "haven't gotten enough sleep" exhausted but just tired of everything. 'Why have you been crying?' I said as I tried my best to wipe her tears away.

'I miss home, Nathan. I don't know what I'm doing here. Well, I do. I'm supposed to be looking after my dad but I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I've got nothing to do for a whole semester and then, I'm off to NYU? God knows, I'll probably be distracted by some other guy by then. I had a plan, now what?'

I reached out and laced our fingers together. 'You're coming home with me. We aren't doing this here and we need to be alone, okay?'

Her head nodded slowly in response as we walked out together.

A/N; this is by far the worst chapter I've ever written and it's REALLY SHORT but I just wanted to get this up before heading off to school. My best friend's devastated and I hate it :( oh, I've also been listening to Strong a lot. It's amazing &&&& I'll get the next chapter up tonight. Have a good day xxo