Racing To You [Liu Yuxin x Reader]

63. Fine

Y/N's POV

It's silent. No one's speaking and it's like no one even dares to. Only the scrapes of the silverware against the plates could be heard in the house. It's new. And strange and dreadful. What used to be a warm time is now cold and even unbearable.

Mom's warm and soft smile didn't help the atmosphere like how it usually would. Not when I could feel the hard glares that Minsu's continuously sending my way from time to time. It's unnerving. Yet no matter how much I wasn't to just walk over and slap him on the head, I can't. His words are still fresh on my mind.

On the other side, there's Kong Xue'er. I don't know what's wrong with her. Not that I want to know. It's like her eyes are stuck to me and she's trying to mentally kill me. It's getting quite concerning, honestly. I'm starting to think that she'll murder me in my sleep.

"If you're finished, you can put your dishes on the sink and head up to sleep." Mom spoke up.

It broke the deafening silence and for that, I don't know if I'm thankful or not. Kong Xue'er was the first to stand and do so, not failing to spare me another glare before walking up the stairs. Minsu was next to go. He's still acting silent and cold to me. I miss having my daily banters with him. No matter how it's annoying.

I let out a defeated sigh as I stood up with mom. I quietly followed her as she walked towards the kitchen sink. I wonder how she manages to act just fine. Like the man she spent half of her life with, isn't leaving and going away. How come she isn't hating me for tearing our family into pieces? Isn't this all my fault?

"I'm sorry for your brother, Y/N. I'll talk some senses into him, alright?" She spoke as I handed her my plate.

"What for? He's right, mom. This is all my fault. I'm sorry..." I mumbled quietly as I stood behind her, arms crossed in hopes of chasing away the empty feeling in my stomach.

"No, Lee Y/N." She turned to me and gave me a stern look.
"It's not your fault, okay? You didn't tell your father to get the divorce. You didn't tell me to sign those papers. Stop blaming yourself for all those things. Don't make it hard for yourself."

My eyes drifted downwards as I felt them sting again. I squeezed my arms to try and hold myself back together. I don't want to cry anymore. It's already physically and mentally taking a toll on me. I took a deep breath and waited for the feeling to disappear.

"Stop lying. Who else is there to blame but me?" I whispered.
"It's our fault and choice. Your father and I. Not yours. Not Minsu's. This is for the best, Y/N." She spoke lowly before I'm being wrapped up in her hug.

"If I keep him here and force him to stay here just for you guys, then that will only break your hearts more. It isn't healthy for any of us. Especially you guys. I don't want you to grow up with a father but with the wrong expression of love. It isn't right."

I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back tightly. It feels so good and relieving to hear those words come out from her. It pulled the invisible dagger that's been stuck to my chest for days now and I could finally breathe. Although it still stings, the pain is slowly decreasing and fading. I know I shouldn't be afraid because mom is with me.

"Now, don't cry anymore, okay? You rarely cried when you were a baby. Now that you're older, it seems to be catching up on you." She teased and ruffed up my hair as we pulled away.

"Okay..." I nodded with a wet chuckle.
"Go to bed. You still have classes tomorrow." She said and gestured me towards the stairs.

"Goodnight." I said softly, which she returned with a soft smile.
"Goodnight, dear."