Racing To You [Liu Yuxin x Reader]

SC 19. Distractions

Y/N's POV

Out of all the places I could be right now, this is the last place. Or maybe it's because I don't like a person in the space with me. It's suffocating. The emotions are crashing so much so that I already feel nothing. Not sad, not happy or angry. Already on the point that I already gave up.

I couldn't afford to stay at a specific emotion. I still have a lot of responsibilities and things to get done. I don't want to give myself the time to feel all the sadness and anger that life is throwing my way. I don't want to hurt any longer.

"Y/N, cupcake?" Lin Fan offered and held out a cupcake to me.
"No thanks." I mumbled before turning ack to my iPad.

"Eh? Why not? You like cupcakes." She asked again.
"Vocal rest." I answered shortly, not bothering to look at her again.

"Oh..." I heard her mumble before I saw her turning to Keran in my peripheral view. "Ranran, do you want a cupcake?"

I diverted my focus back into my work. I'm stuck in the classroom with the others and her. Ella Laoshi and the Drama Club practically forced me to stay here to ensure that I don't overwork. And as if that would ever work. That plan of theirs only backfired as now, I'm even more determined and restless to find something to distract myself.

A piano app is open on my iPad as I tried to come up with something. And it was definitely a challenge. There's a cruel whisper in my mind to just go somewhere else and just cry my eyes out and wallow in self-pity and self-loathing. It's unbelievable how stupid I've been.

How could I be smart and know a lot of things and suddenly nothing in just a matter of weeks?

My fists clenched as I bit my lips. All those things that Yuxin did. They were all well calculated niceties. Had she ever really liked me like she said? Apparently not. She figured out that keeping me as her enemy wasn't working to make sure I'll stay quiet and that's why she took the other method. She must have had great fun, mocking me behind my back. Laughing about how easy it was to fool Lee Y/N. And I was oh, so oblivious.

I let out a shaky sigh as I collected myself back together. I can't break down right here. I blinked away all the tears threatening to fall. Immediately wiping my eyes as one still ended up falling and soaking into my paper.

I looked up only to lock eyes with Kong Xue'er who is sitting in front of me. She strangely looked curious and concerned as she fixed her wide eyes at me. Not glaring like how she usually would. Who knows what's going on with her. I just chose to turn back to my desk and finish the composition I've been writing for the past days.

"Hey, about last week... I never got to say thanks for-"

I paused from writing as Kong Xue'er suddenly started to talk again. I looked at her and saw that it was to me. "It's nothing. Don't talk about it anymore." I mumbled as I cut her off and turned back to my paper.

Thankfully, she listened and I didn't hear anything from her anymore. I know mentioning it will draw unnecessary attention again. And slightly make me blame myself for all that happened. Maybe if I didn't interfere then Dalton would've never known and Yuxin and I didn't have to fight.

But who am I kidding? Even if I didn't, it would only be a matter of weeks before she chooses to end it all anyway. She was probably just planning to be with me until the school year ends and she's certain her secret doesn't affect her anymore.

I rubbed at my face in exasperation before pressing play on the iPad so I can finally start and not get distracted by anything anymore. I fiddled with my pen as I tried to find the right words to write down.