Euphoria | BTS (Bangtan Sonyeondan)

"I'm Glad He Found That in You, Noona..."

My phone alarm rings and I let out a groan. Before I can turn around and turn it off, I feel the body next to me lean forward to tap the screen and turn the sound off. I'm surrounded by his warmth and the sense of comfort is back. He pulls me in closer and I snuggle into his chest even more; just happy to have someone here who I can lean on.

"Good Morning, El-ah," he says quietly as he places his lips on the top of my head

"Morning Joon. I'm sorry my alarm woke you up. I have to get dressed because I'm meeting Eunwoo this morning," I say into his chest.

"That sounds like fun. I have to get up anyway, We have some last minute things to do today before we head off tomorrow," he explains.

Neither of us move; not wanting to break the spell of contention we are each feeling in our little bubble. His fingers are tracing circles on my back, featherlight but enough for me to know he's there.

"I don't want to get up," I confess to him. A small laugh leaves my lips and I realize it's the first time I've smiled in almost 24 hours.

He squeezes me into him even more and sighs.

"Me neither, Noona. Me neither." He says.

I pull away from him slightly and sit myself up on the bed and bring my knees up. He follows suit and sits next to me but keeps his arm around me, resting on the bed behind me.

"What's wrong, Eleanor? I mean, I know what's wrong but, what are you thinking?" He asks.

I hold back, trying to maintain a level of composure by not getting too emotional but how do I explain to this perfect, angel of a man that has done nothing but worry about me and my well being, that I just miss my boyfriend? My sweet, kind, considerate, romantic, talented, and breathtakingly beautiful boyfriend, who shattered my heart in two and called me selfish.

"I just... I'm just sad. I can't believe I didn't see how self-centered and egotistical I was being. Of course, this isn't about me. It's about you guys and the danger I'm putting you in. I'm just so sorry, Namjoon-ah. I'm so so sorry," I say as I bury my head in my knees and shake my head.

"Eleanor, look at me," he says sweetly. "You are NOT selfish. You are NOT egotistical. We know that you're not doing this for yourself, we know you care about us and you just don't want this to blow up. What Yoongi-hyung said yesterday was wrong. He was completely wrong and I need you to know that. I can't take the hurt away that his words caused you but I need you to know, that we don't feel that way," he says to me. His hands come up and cup my face. "You need to believe me, please. It's not you. You're perfect," he pleads with me.

I let out a deep sigh and smile softly at him.

"What did I do to deserve you? All of you. You've all shown me so much love in such a short time, more love than I've experienced in my whole life. It's hard to process. Like, I actually don't even know how to accept it or what to do with it. All I know is I don't deserve it."  I say to him, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"No El-ah. What did we do to deserve you? You have been everything to us these last almost 2 months. You're our friend, our cheerleader, our caretaker, our love..." he says as he drops his eyes down. "We are just so lucky to have you... I'm so lucky," he says. "I wish I could articulate it to you; for the last 10 years, we've been alone. People have come in and out of our lives and it's hard for us to form relationships. We only have each other. That's all we've ever known. So when you came in, and you won us over with your charm and your beautiful heart and treated us like humans and not pawns to get ahead in your own game, we knew you were special. And you are, you are so special to us. That is why we need you to let us help you, let us be there for you," he finishes.