Euphoria | BTS (Bangtan Sonyeondan)

"I'm In..."

I look outside to see the sun is starting to set so, I grab my book and a blanket and head outside, opting for some quiet time. I make my way to the dock and sit on one of the lounge chairs. I wrap the blanket around my legs, open my book and just enjoy the space around me. I can here the guys laughing in the distance; the sweetest sound I've ever heard. It's been so long since I've had this much quiet time to myself. I'm enjoying it though, as I've had a raging headache for the last couple of days and the quiet really helps ease the pain. It's odd; I strive off of chaos and complete mayhem so being somewhere so quiet makes it easier for my mind to wander and overthink. I definitely need to find a therapist out here.

I sit and watch the sun disappear and I can't help but wonder what life will be like a year from now or 2 years from now. Will this whole mess be taken care of? Would I be safe? Will I still be in Korea? Would I still be working with Bangtan? TxT? Eunwoo? Would I still be with Yoongi and Jungkook? What about Tae and Jimin? And Seokjin, Namjoon and Hoseok? Would we all be together? Would the tour finally happen? I start feeling really overwhelmed and panicky. I bend down at my waist and put my head in between my legs and try to take deep breaths; my headache starting to throb again. The thought of not being with these men is making me anxious. I'm in way too deep now. I love them. I'm in love with two of them. I don't know what I'd do if they just decided that they didn't want to be with me anymore.

After a few minutes of some deep breathing, I pick my head back up and notice I hear people talking so I turn my head, looking toward the back part of the main house. I see JK and he's with one of the female filming crew members. I can't make out what they're talking about but I can see that it's a pretty deep conversation. I've seen her around before. I don't know much about her except that she started a month before I did, she's an AD and her name is Nabi. Jungkook stands with his arms a crossed his chest and she is looking up at him. I'm wondering if they're talking about what's next in filming. I see JK nod at her and put his hands under his shirt to grab what I assume is his belt and mic pack. I watch as Nabi steps forward toward him; her head moves up and down as her eyes rake his body and then she leans forward and places her hands under his shirt.

Jungkook takes a step back and brings a hand up to push her hands away. From what I can see, he's visibly uncomfortable; his shoulders are tense and his eyebrows are furrowed as he looks at her. He says something to her and she tries to say something back while taking another step toward him. Again, he steps away, takes the belt that's velcro'ed to his waist and mic pack off and hands it to her. She doesn't take it and she seemingly can't take no for an answer as she takes a step toward him again, saying something to him that I can not hear.

In that moment, I get up, drop my blanket and book in my chair and start walking toward them. I wasn't going to get involved. I was going to let him take care of things on his own, he is a grown man, but she is being very persistent and he is very sweet. I know him, I know that he doesn't want to be disrespectful because she is a part of their staff. If this was a fan or anyone else, I never would never even fathom doing what I am about to do but, she's a part of the staff and is VERY well aware that Jungkook is in a relationship. She signed an NDA about it, she's aware. Also, can't she see that he's obviously not comfortable with her actions? I think anyone would be able to tell, you don't have to know JK to see that. So, it rubs me the wrong way that knowing this, she is still very obviously not taking the hint. This isn't a jealousy thing, it's a respect thing... or at least that's what I'm telling myself as I walk up behind her. Jungkook's eyes go to me and immediately go wide. I smile at him.

"Hi JK. Hi Nabi," I say super sweetly and casually, not even being passive aggressive, I really am just happy to see him; I haven't really seen any of them since they left me this morning.

"Hi Noona," Jungkook says as he reaches his hand out to me to bring me into him as a surprised Nabi takes a step backwards.

"I was looking for you. I figured you guys were done for the day so I thought we could hang out," I tell him as I turn my body to face him. As I finish my sentence, he leans down to kiss me softly.