Euphoria | BTS (Bangtan Sonyeondan)

"Thank You For Trusting Me..."

I feel my phone vibrate next to me and I open my eyes to look at my phone and realize it's almost 6:00 pm now. My TxT group message has new activity from Beomgyu, sending me "inspiration" pictures (they're shirtless pictures of other idols and it brings a smile to my face, knowing he's joking because Bang PD-Nim would think the younger group should probably not take that route). I respond quickly with a laughing face emoji and I jokingly tell him that I'll prepare the oil for them to slick their abs with, which results in a frenzy of emoji's from all members.

I stretch out in my bed, my whole body feels sore and as if I've been working out hard for the last week. I get up and head to the bathroom and decide to take a hot shower. I take my time, allowing the water to cascade over my body and melt away the stress, the hurt, the pain that is riddling me. After I get through my routine, I wrap a towel around me and comb through my wet hair. As I'm doing my skincare routine, I hear a small knock on the door. I assume it's Hyun-Jin or Namjoon. So I make my way to the door and hang on tight to the towel around me. I open the door and my heart swells. I see Seokjin, holding two big paper bags and a warm smile across his face.

"Hi Noona, Namjoon-ah told me where you were and since he couldn't come tonight, I decided to bring you dinner," he says sweetly.

"Come in, please" I say to him as I move to allow him space to come in the door.

He steps in and the smells of food following him. He places the bags on the small table next to the tv. He turns around toward me and opens his arms. I smile and head toward him.

His arms engulf me in his warmness. He wraps me in tightly as one of his hands comes up and holds the back of my head, pulling me into him.

I feel overwhelmed again. The amount of love I feel for each of these men inundates me and the thought of not having them physically makes me ache. Thinking about how much I've hurt them, how much danger I've put them in, the feeling of guilt is riddling me. Tears spill from my eyes and a soft sob leaves my body. Seokjin in particular, has been nothing but so supportive and protective. I feel a connection with him that's very different from the rest. He does things, without even realizing that they mean more to me than he will ever know. Like, if he wakes up before me in the mornings, he always leaves me an iced coffee in the fridge so I have a drink for the day. Or if he's making dinner, and he knows I don't like a specific ingredient, he will just not use it. Or how he contacted the house manager and had them reactivate the cameras on the balcony of my room because they'd been inactive for a while. It's things that come so naturally to him, that he doesn't realize make me feel like I am important to him.

"El-ah, it's okay. I'm here, I've got you," he says to me.

I cry. I don't know how long he's holding me for but I feel my whole body has given out on me, the weight of it fully on Seokjin. I've forgotten that I'm still in my damn towel and probably look like a complete mess.

"I'm sorry," I say as I push back from him. "I feel so stupid," I say.

"Do not apologize," he tells me, using his thumbs to wipe the residual wetness off my face.

"Come in. Sit down, please. I'll be right back. I need to go get changed," I say to him as I head back to the bathroom. I grab my lounge clothes and get changed. Before I head back, I check myself in the mirror. I'm an absolute shit show. My face is red and my eyes swollen and wet. I grab a hair tie and pull my hair back in a low ponytail and wet my face to try and calm the redness down. It doesn't do much but at least it makes me feel better.

I walk out and see that Seokjin has put the food out for us and is sitting in the chair waiting for me. I smile at him and walk to the other chair. I sit down and bring my legs up and hug them.