A Sickness, A Doctor, A Cheater ||Dnb|| ✔

39

You could not feel that you were first falling in love with someone, but no matter where you looked, your eyes would always lock on them in the end. The heartbeat for that person just could not lie even if you were in denial yourself.

At first, Techno felt sorry for Dream, a leukemia patient that did not even have a close one there for him. Then, his heart ached for him when he saw him asking about his condition calmly in a low voice; waiting outside his office in silence wearing his thick down jacket; having trouble standing after his bone marrow puncture. And then, he fell for him when he saw him carrying the flowerpot in panic but very carefully; showing half of his face from his thick down jacket. He knew it was wrong but he still sunk into this feeling without making any effort to struggle.

Later, every time Techno thought of Dream, his big round eyes came to his mind first. They were wet, gentle and a loving pair of eyes with large eyeballs and little sclera. The second thing was Dream's voice, light and slow. A long sentence would become slow, soft music when he said it.

Once Techno knew the story between Sapnap and Dream in the beginning, he was not disappointed, just a bit mad. He thought Dream deserved better. That man still could not care less about him even when he was in that state. Techno surely hated Sapnap for having affairs out there while owning such a mild pure man. But at the time, it was not Techno's place to do anything. He could only persuade Dream to take medical treatment; he could only show his concerns as a doctor.

The only thing he could do was pull every of his strings to find bone marrows for him. Dream did not care about his body but Techno could not just sit by and watch the man waste away. The longer he waited, the more eager Techno was to calculate how many days he had got left because of professional habit.

He genuinely felt bad for him; every time he saw Dream's pale face after his chemo, he could feel the urge of holding him tight in his arms, of taking care of him, of never letting him carry the burden on his own.

And then an impulsive kiss from the doctor changed the whole thing between them. He did not regret it. He could not. Only at that crazy moment, did he realize how deep love he was in with his patient.

So he could never let go. He took him away at the expense of his future and career. Even though he knew the ending would be painful, he drowned himself in that bitter-sweetness.

Every step they took together was not easy. Techno knew Dream's heart belonged to someone else, like for eternity. Many years of love and hate, loving that man had become an instinct engraved in him. Techno was not a saint inclusive enough to ignore their old love but he did not have the heart to leave Dream alone to deal with the pain and suffering all by himself. If two people shared the pain, would he shoulder less? He thought.

In fact, he never felt the things he did for Dream; he never thought of getting anything in return; only occasionally, he thought it would be great if he actually liked him back a little.

Later he found out slowly that Dream's heart was softer than he thought. He also learned to accept him as he opened a little window in his heart.

Dream never had a verbal agreement of "being together" with Techno and he never said love and true heart to him. But for some reason, Techno was so affirmative that Dream did love him even just for one second.

One time, Dream felt terrible at night, the pinkette stayed by his side overnight; next noon, he could stand much longer so he fell into sleep on the couch. That was more like hypnagogic, during which people could hear but couldn't open their eyes. Techno could sense that someone put on a blanket on him very gently. That person did not leave right away, but stood next to him for quite a while and eventually covered him up a bit carefully. He spoke as if sighing, "Silly..." His tone was filled with pity. He thus fell into a deep sleep.