Scribbles and Drabbles

Notebook Drabble 15.3

The first time he met Jayden, Edwyn had been in chains and at Tion's feet. Not captured for real, but imprisoned and awaiting his team to come and save him. Tion's expression had lit up and his eyes went soft with feelings that none of them were supposed to feel. Feelings were not allowed for people like them. At that moment Edwyn knew, his traitorous commander could never return to the rightful side he belonged to. His connections to the enemy were too entrenched in his skin now. Embedded in his soul and heart and it broke a part of Edwyn.

That same part of Edwyn become deeply confused the next time Tion attempted to fuck him. The circumstances were the same as ever. High adrenaline and the need to claim, conquer and grip flesh running through both of them and Edwyn's turn to land on the hard ground and be pinned. No teammates or sides around them, any other time Edwyn would have given in to the demand, offer.

"Fuck off Tion,"

"You never minded prior. What changed?" Tion pouted.

Edwyn kind of wanted to slap him. "You got a boyfriend. Unless he gives me permission, I ain't pissing off a doctor on the enemy side, not even for you commander."

Tion growled. He didn't like it when Edwyn reminded him of his previous position in life, even if it was why they were in such a messed up relationship. He didn't try again, however. The brawls continued but the sex didn't. Closest Tion got was a kiss. Edwyn refused to acknowledge how messed he'd been after that particular move. The others tried to get him to talk about it but he refused. Talking meant being recorded and he didn't want the higher-ups to doubt his loyalty to the cause.

Instead of the sex, he got stuck listening to Tion wax on about his love if he got pinned instead. With this, Edwyn learned about Jayden. They were well matched. Jayden liked big men. He liked having Tion tend to his every need and obey his orders. He enjoyed both having Tion command him in bed and commanding Tion in bed. Edwyn's heart clenched sometimes. It wasn't like he didn't have the same programming as Tion. Ashley had a similar effect on him even if she had never claimed his heart romantically. They were friends, best friends and that was it. She had her own heart issues and it was a silent agreement throughout their little ragtag team that heartbreak was not to be pressed.

The next time he'd met Jayden, he'd been in his camp. A disease attacking both sides had caused a truce in the camps while the Docs hunted out a cure. Jayden had winked at him as he passed. The feelings that rushed through Jayden had been hard to process. No word had been spoken but he knew eyes were watching them. His team pulled around him. Cain kept Jayden far from Edwyn.

Didn't stop the man from appearing in his room one night and looming over him.

The exact words were fuzzy now. Edwyn had half been convinced that it had been a weird dream until Tion had referenced it in their next fight. Jayden had given permission. After all, Tion's heart belonged firmly in his fingers. Edwyn's crumbled a little more.

And now. Now he was at Jayden's mercy. After the grunts and guards at the centre, Jayden's gentle fingers surrounded him in safety even as his heart tightened a little more with every moment. His careful hands treated his wounds, stroked at his raw edges and pressed into the wall he'd built ready to be humiliated and hurt for being Tion's plaything. A kiss on the cheek and orders not to call him anything but his name worried Edwyn almost as much as it bloomed hope in his chest that despite everything, this wasn't going to be the end of him.

Alone in the shower, he let the hurt and fear of the last few weeks leak out. He let the clench of his heart at Jayden calling him Wynnie flow down his face and tried not to let the undignified sobs leak out of the space. Dirt rolled off him. Feelings lifted, the hollowness in his chest became easier to deal with than the mess of before.