Finding The Courage

Part 14

The days went on with the fear simulations I had to face the dark silent room again, along with shooting an innocent. The last fear was Peter assaulting me. That one raised questions from Four, demanding an answer to why I was afraid of being assaulted by Peter when I had beaten him in a fight. I told him the truth, I threw it in his face that he was no longer the only man to have kissed me. I stormed out of the room with a raging Four left behind to deal with the rest of the initiates. I made my way back to the roof, it seemed to be the only place I could actually get away from everyone for a little while. To my surprise not long after I arrived on the rooftop Tris came storming out of the door.

"What's got you so upset?" I called. She spun around and stomped over, she plopped down on the ground next to me.

"Is it okay if we don't talk?" I nodded, we just sat in silence while the wind whipped around us causing our hair to become tangled. I closed my eyes against the light of the sun, relaxing back against the wall. Tris soon had her head on my shoulder as we continued to sit in silence together. We spent the rest of the day that way, alone and at peace which was rare to find in such a rowdy faction. We both decided to skip dinner that night and stayed up on the roof until the stars were high in the sky. I showed Tris all of the constellations like I had with Eric and my mind began drifting to thoughts of him. We snuck back to the dorms, giggling to ourselves about how we felt like spies sneaking around the compound.

The next day attitudes changed towards Tris. The day had started with her joining me in the training room running like we used to and sparing, I was hoping I could get her better since she was still weak. At breakfast the new rankings were placed on the board. Tris was first, I knew it was because she had such fast times but part of me suspected that Four was trying to protect me, while I was second with Peter behind me and Al last. Al and I had never been close but I knew Tris cared for him. There is chatter among the initiates gasps of shock that Tris who had not seemed cut out for the physical part of initiation was now first. Will, Christina, and Al started chatting about their scores. Tris participated while I just sat by listening. I caught Peter out of the corner of my eye storming over towards us.

"How did you do it?" He hisses at Tris, everyone turns to look at him with a glare but he doesn't back down this time. Will stands up getting in his face.

"She's doing her best. Leave her alone."

"Well if you aren't going to tell me, at least tell your friends. It's a hell of an act to manipulate them into thinking you're weak and helpless only to turn around and push them out of the ranks." He storms away.

" Is there some sort of trick to it, Tris?" Will asks. He turns to look at me and I just shrug back at him as I watch all three of them start to think Peter might be right.

"I don't know any special tricks." Tris responds. This is the nail in the coffin for Will and Christina who both storm off. Al stays behind however as Tris tries to comfort him. Eventually Al too leaves and Tris sends me a pleading look.

"You can't tell them the truth." I whisper to her as I walk away too.

I end up running into Uriah, Marlene, and Lynn. They spend the day dragging me around with them. First to try on clothes, then to watch Uriah scream like a girl while getting a new tattoo. We are laughing all day and my mind is taken off Peter and Tris. Soon we are all rushing off the training room to watch Uriah shoot a muffin off on Marlene's head. How that had become a bet I had missed, I had been distracted watching Eric and Four fighting once again from afar. We came across Tris in the hallway again.

"Hey congrats on being first this time around." They shouted at her. "Come with us to celebrate! You deserve it." I pulled her up and dragged her along with us, she didn't fight me. Once we arrived in the training room Marlene and Uriah set up as Lynn and Tris started chatting. I leave them to talk, walking around the room trying to find the best place to watch this mistake take place. I was shaking my head as the rest were laughing. Uriah takes the shot and hits the muffin, Marlene staying totally still the whole time. We all start to laugh as Uriah begins to eat the muffin.

"That's gross!" Marlene exclaims at the same time Four, Shauna, and Zeke enter the training room.

"Hey! You guys need to get back to the dorms!" Four shouts at us all. Catching eyes with Tris as he says it. I had been laying on the floor and could tell that none of them had noticed me yet. The others started to leave as I slowly got up making my way to the group.

"Tris!" Four called out "I just wanted to let you know that you do belong here, just give it time." I watched as she held his hand and gave it a squeeze before rushing out after the rest of our friends. I managed to make it to the doors before Four caught sight of me. I saw him wince when he realized I had been there the whole time. I broke into a light jog to catch up with the others before Four could think to follow me. We got back to the room and took turns holding a sheet in front of the shower for each other, we walked back over to our beds only to see that Christina had moved her bed away from ours. I shook my head and began braiding my hair. I could tell it was bothering Tris so I offered to brush out her hair and braid it as well. We settled down in bed for the night with the rest of the group. I was just starting to fall asleep when I felt Tris shake my arm.

"I'm going to get some water. Will you come with me?" I nodded and rolled out of bed with her. I was overly aware that my clothing was too loose on me, it was cold and I preferred to sleep in something loose. I follow behind Tris to where the water is only for us to hear Eric's voice. We both froze, pushing ourselves as close to the wall as we could.

" Have you been watching the simulations?" A woman's voice came, it sounded the same as the voice I had heard before with Four. I froze up as Tris tried to get closer.

"I put you in this position so that you would be able to eliminate any divergents, don't forget they are a threat." I hear raise her voice at Eric. Before Tris can peek around the corner a hand comes out of nowhere and grabs her, at the same time I was slammed back into the wall hard. Three people grabbed Tris and began pulling her away from me. My head was spinning but I got up to follow them. I was slow to catch them and realized with a flash of fear that they were bringing her to the chasm. As I got closer I saw Tris trying to fight back, Peter, Drew, and Al holding her over the rail backwards. I watch on as Peter begins to try and rape her, pulling at her clothes and grunting as she struggled. I took that as my chance to barrel into the group of boys. I notice then that Tris is blindfolded, motu cover, with her hands tied behind her back. Peter grabbed her by the throat and Drew and Al wrestled with me. I got in a few good punches but they prevented me from reaching Tris. I saw a shadow and started to scream for help.

"He's gonna kill her!" I screamed as Four came rushing towards us. Peter and Al took off but Drew was dead set on beating me up. I took another heavy blow to the head before Four tackled Drew off of me. I crawled to Tris, managing to get the blindfold off and gag out of her mouth before Four came to help me. I lay on my back next to Tris, bleeding and panting. I tried to sit up and could barely manage it. I gagged as I moved.

"Don't try to move you idiot. What were you two thinking!" Four yelled at us, though it was obvious that Tris had passed out long ago.

"It wasn't our fault. We just went to get water. They grabbed her and shoved me into the wall. Peter." I lost focus for a moment, stuttering. "Peter tried to." Before I could finish the sentence I fell back towards the ground. The blows to the head having caused my body to black out.

I woke up with a start, Tris curled up next to me and was still fast asleep. Four was laying on a couch not far away. I took a moment to observe the room and noticed there were a lot of windows. I shifted to check on Tris who looked like she had been bandaged up.

" She was really worried about you." Four said as he approached me.

"How is she?" I asked him quietly.

"Better. She told me Peter tried to assault her. She also told me that you were the only reason she wasn't." I nodded my head. "Let me redress your wounds. You should stay here until you have to go through the simulation tomorrow." He patted my head lightly and whipped blood off of my face. He helped me lay back down and kissed my forehead before heading back over to his couch. I watched as he got comfortable and we both fell asleep. I felt Tris turn in her sleep a few times and she finally relaxed when I put a hand on her back. I fell asleep to the soft breathing of the two people in the world who meant the most to me.