Finding The Courage

Part 74

Peter was sitting with his back against the wall. Four stood in front of him.

"Are you still set on this?" Four asked Peter as he held up the vial of serum. I froze. They hadn't noticed me yet. I watched Peter nod. "You could just put in the work. You already started to, for Wren."

"I could, but I won't. We both know that. I struggle to stay good for her. She sees so much in me and I don't feel like I deserve it. Maybe one day I'll meet her again and I can love her the way I should have from the start, without the fact that I nearly beat her to death hanging over my head."

"As I recall it was actually Drew who did that." Four muttered. "She really cares about you, it'll crush her if you do this without at least saying goodbye. She's lost to many people already."

"You know you can't stay with Tris after this right?" Peter's voice got harder. "She will only have her brother after this if you don't fix things with her. Even I could tell you're not fully in love with Tris, not with the way your eyes follow Wren around the room."

"Once you tell her I'll reset you." Four said. I finally cleared my throat, my eyes were already watering. Both men were startled and shot their eyes over to me. I saw the guilt as it washed over Peter's features.

"You were never planning to stay were you?" I choked out.

"I don't deserve you. I never did. I love you more than I ever expected to. I never thought I would be putting someone else before myself." Peter got up and got closer to me. I looked up to meet his eyes. "I got something from my parents before we left. I had so many ideas on how to give it to you, I wanted to ask you to marry me before we found out about the reset and then I knew it wasn't ever going to be the right time. I saw a way to start over and be a better person. I'm sorry I'm so selfish."

He took my hand and turned it over so my palm was facing the floor. "Close your eyes." I did as he asked. "Don't forget me. I won't ask you to watch me erase myself, but know that no matter where I end up I will always love you. I should have told you sooner." I felt a ring slide onto my ring finger and then Peter's lips on mine. He crushed me to him and he kissed me as if it was the last kiss we would ever share. It would be with this version of Peter, the one who I had fought, who had caught me from falling off the stairs in Dauntless, the one who played with my hair when he was nervous. Then he was gone. Where his body and hand had been in front of me was nothing but empty space. My back hit the wall and the tears finally won and they raced down my face as I slid down the wall to the floor.

I could hear their footsteps fading around the corner and the low murmur of voices. I opened my eyes and pulled myself from the floor when I heard Four ask what he wanted to remember about himself and his life.

"Just her." Peter mumbled.

"Okay." There was a pause. "Be brave." Then nothing. I peaked around the corner as Four sat across from Peter who had swallowed half the vile. When Peter opened his eyes again they were wide and innocent.

"Your name is Peter. You were in an accident which has resulted in your memory to be lost. The only thing you remember is a wild, beautiful, strong, stubborn, redheaded girl named Wren. You have feelings for her but you don't know how she feels so when you meet her, if you meet her you will be cautious around her. Start as her friend, let her feel safe with you. She has lost so many people already." Peter nodded.

"Four?" I called from around the corner, just barely visible around the corner but enough for Peter to see me and for me to watch his breath catch in his throat as he took me in for the first time. Four stood up and made his way towards me.

"Stay here until I come to get you." He ordered Peter. I stepped out a little more as Four reached me and took one last look at the gorgeous green eyed man on the couch before I turned to follow Four. We made it back to Evelyn's office to see if she had made contact with Marcus yet. She confirmed she had and we made our way out of the building, Evelyn and I went down first, I finally had time to examine the ring Peter had given me. It was twisted so that instead of one circle it was open, each end held a flower that was made out of crystals. One was black the other was white. Very Candor. 

Peter and Four met us at the entrance to the Erudite headquarters. Evelyn and Four walked side by side and Peter trotted after them. The snow had stopped falling but it had stayed on the ground. I followed them to Millennium Park past the bean sculpture that had somehow managed to survive all this time. We made our way down a set of stairs and Evelyn had to steady herself by holding Four's elbow. We reached our destination at the bottom of the stairs, a pavilion with two glass blocks on either end. Everyone was armed, but I was uncomfortable with the idea of firing on my friends. Johanna and Marcus were already there, Marcus was holding a gun and it followed Evelyn's every move. Four returned the favor.

"Tobais!" Johanna exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Trying to keep you from killing each other, I'm surprised you're carrying a gun."

"We're not here to chat. You said you wanted to talk about a treaty." Marcus growled out.

"Yes I have some terms for us to agree on. I think you will find them fair, if you agree I will step down and surrender all of the weapons I have that are not being used for personal protection by my people. In return I will leave the city and never come back-" Marcus cut her off with a barking laugh.

"Let her finish." Johanna demanded.

"In return you will not attack or seize control of the city, you will allow those people who wish to leave to do so. You will allow those who choose to stay to vote on new leaders and social systems. Most importantly, Marcus will be ineligible for that position." Johanna raised her eyebrow.

"No deal, I am the leader of these people." Marcus hissed again.

"Marcus." Johanna's voice was sharp in warning.

"You don't get to decide if I lead them Evelyn."

"Excuse me." Johanna raised her voice. "Marcus, what she is offering is too good to be true, we get everything we want without all the violence. How could you say no?!"

"I am the rightful leader of these people, I am the leader of the Allegiant-"

"No you are not." Johanna's voice was calm but filled with power. "I am the leader of the Allegiant and you are going to agree to this or I am going to tell them that you had a chance to end this conflict without bloodshed and you wouldn't sacrifice your pride." Her tone was cold and left no room for argument. Marcus couldn't keep the rage off of his face but knew better than to argue with her.

"I agree to your terms." Johanna said as she held out a hand for Evelyn to shake. Evelyn reached out and closed the gap. "Tomorrow we will meet and present the new plan to everyone. Can you guarantee a safe gathering?"

"I'll do my best." Evelyn promised. Four checked his watch and mentioned to me that it was time to go.

"I have something to take care of but I'll pick you up tomorrow afternoon outside the city limits, sound good?" Four asked Evelyn.

"Sounds good." Evelyn rubbed his arm briskly before he made his way closer to me.

"You won't be back? You found a life outside the city?" Johanna asked.

"I have. Good luck here. The people outside are going to try and shit down the city. Be ready for them." Four warned her. Johanna and Four shook hands and then she gave me a slight hug.

"Goodbye." Four said to Marcus before we disappeared into the dark of the night.