Finding The Courage

Part 54

David led us past the checkpoint but not back through it. I watched Tris's eyes flick to where they had our guns and then back ahead of her. Her hand went to the picture in her pocket and then as if she knew someone was watching her away from it. They had watched everything, Tris almost dying and my attempts to save her. The murders of our faction, our parents. They had watched us at every turn, seen everything. They had known I was divergent before I did, they had watched me embrace the other factions, watched me sneak into Four's house at night. They had seen us kiss, they had seen Eric and I, even Peter and I. The idea that someone had watched my most intimate moments bothered me to no end.

The carpet on the ground dragged me out of my thoughts. There were potted plants on the corners. This wallpaper had yellowed and was peeling in the corners of the wall. The room beyond had high ceilings and hardwood floors. Their lights gave off a yellow-orange glow. There were cots that lined the walls in two straight rows, trunks had been placed beside them for our possessions. The large windows on the opposite wall had elegant curtains, as if to make up for the cots we were sleeping on. It reminded me of the Dauntless initiate dorms.

"This is just a temporary dwelling, once you decide what to do we can settle you somewhere else. If that's in the compound or not. Zoe will make sure that you are well taken care of. I will be back tomorrow to see how you are all doing." David said as he left the room. Tris made a move to comfort Four who was now pacing in front of the windows chewing on his fingernails like he had when we were kids. She then turned and followed David out of the room. I moved towards Four and placed a steady hand on his arm forcing him to stop pacing.

"Talk to me." I murmured in a low voice trying to hide the fact that Four was in fact panicking. His eyes shot up to meet mine.

"Where's Tris?" I felt my entire body shift, I recoiled on myself.

"She left. Followed David out of the room with her hand on that picture Zoe gave her." I spit out at him and moved back to place my bag on one of the beds. I flopped down and Peter took one of the beds next to me. We didn't say anything and the room remained quiet. Tris stormed back into the room and surveyed us. Peter had turned to face the wall, Uriah and Chrsitina had taken to chatting amongst themselves in hushed tones, Caleb was massaging his head and Four was still by the window. Cara was the only one who looked up to having a conversation so Tris moved towards her. I tuned out their conversation until something they were saying caught my interest.

"It's still good we came and found out the truth, isn't that of value to you?" Tris asked.

"Of course, but it means that I now need a new way to define what I am." Cara responded. After a moment's pause she spoke again. "Better check on him."

"Yeah." Tris responded as she moved across the room to where Four was standing. Four stopped pacing then and stood next to Tris, something he hadn't done for me.

"You alright?" She asked in a low voice.

"Yeah." He moved to sit and I turned to watch the interaction. "I mean no, not really. I'm just thinking about how meaningless it was, the faction system." He rubbed the back of his neck. "We put everything into it, all of us. Even if we didn't realize it."

"That's what you're thinking about?" Tri's voice raised a little. "Tobias, they were watching us. They didn't intervene, they just invaded our privacy. Constantly." I agreed with her, I was upset they had let Jeanine get as far as she did.

"That's not what's bothering me though. Tris, I worked in the control room. I tried to warn you that people were watching you during initiation remember?" Four had warned both of us. "It used to bother me but I got over it. We thought we were on our own. Turns out we were right, because they left us on our own."

"I can't accept that." Tris argued. "If you see someone in trouble you should help them." I watched her shift uncomfortably. "And god the things they saw." I watched Four's face shift into a smile and I rolled back over and covered my ears. I did not want to remember the nights I had shared with him, or that he had turned around and shared with Tris. The familiar pain in my chest from that night in Amity began to return. Tris's chuckle broke through the silence I had tried so hard to create.

That night I heard Tris and Four push their cots closer together. I couldn't take it, their ability to be so in love while the rest of us crashed and burned. I exited the room and slid down the wall outside the door. I finally got up and walked around the emptying compound, the squeak of my boots being the only sound around. I found an atrium that was similar to the Amity greenhouses and I relished the sense of something familiar. I heard footsteps behind me after a while of sitting alone and moved to hide myself behind one of the suspended plants.

"You're not as vigilant as you used to be." I heard Amar's voice. That meant the other person had to be Four.

"What do you want?" Four responded and I could hear his knuckles tap on one of the tanks.

"Thought you might want to know why I'm not dead."

"I thought about it, never let me see your body. Wouldn't be hard to fake a death if there's never a body."

"Sounds like you figured it out, I'll just go then." I heard movement and then Amar's voice again."They faked my death because I was divergent. Jeanine had already started killing them off, they tried to save as many as they could before she got them. She was always one step ahead which made it hard."

"Are there others?"

"A few."

"Last name Prior?"

"No, Natalie Prior is actually dead. She was the one who got me out. She helped someone else too. George Wu." I blocked out the rest of Amar's story as my heart tightened in my chest. Tori's brother, the one who drove her to protect Tris and I, was actually alive this whole time. She had died trying to save us.

"Oh god." Four's voice brought me back, the same gut wrenching feeling I felt was in his words.

"You know him?"

"Tori, his sister, She tried to leave the city with us."

"Tried to... Wow that's...." Amar had no way to finish that statement. My mind had no more use for their conversation as I spun out of control. George was never going to see his sister again, Tori died thinking she would finally get to see him again. This place was awful, they watched her die, someone had to have seen it even if Amar hadn't.