Finding The Courage

Part 27

We finally made our way to the indoor hall where Amity held their meetings and shared meals. We gathered our food and claimed a table to ourselves. Caleb explained to us how Erudite had created a way to help Amity with farming, in turn Tris tells Caleb about her being Divergent. I tuned out the conversation as I scanned the crowd and realized that Four had not followed us in the building. As my eyes searched for him I caught him approaching us, the look of upset was clear as day on his face.

"What's wrong?" I questioned him as soon as he sat down next to Tris.

"Amity meddled in something and it created tension." was the short response I got back. Tris however was about to push for more information.

"I'll tell you later." Four promised her. I could feel the jealousy sweep across me and suddenly I was no longer hungry. Marcus approached us, Four had taken up eating my barely touched plate of food.

"Abnegation has decided to return home. It is selfish of us to stay while so many others are suffering back in what is left of Abnegation. Would you and your friends please escort us back to the fence?" He looked at Tris before turning to me. He thought we might still have some Abnegation left in us, I did. He knew it. I had risked my life to save everyone who was now here from Abnegation. Tris didn't answer him right away, it was Four who did.

"We should leave the day after tomorrow." That was the end of the conversation. Marcus nodded and returned to his table while We finished eating. I left the building before the others, making my way back to the orchards. I found a sunny spot near a tree and decided to lay in it. I knew we were expected to help out in the faction and Peter and I had done so by playing with the children. I closed my eyes as my body soaked up the sun I had been missing while living in Dauntless. I let my mind go blank as I enjoyed being in nature, a shift in the sunlight that had been warming my skin brought me back from my daydreams. The sun was beginning to set and I found myself climbing the tree to get a better look at the sky. Peter found me in the trees and climbed up to join me as the sun hit the horizon, giving the sky a final burst of red light. We climbed back down and silently made our way back to the house we were staying in. We separated as I went to the bathroom to wash my face. I found Tris already in bed tossing and turning, I slipped out of the dress I was in and into some very large red pants and a smaller red shirt. I slipped into my own bed and soon I was asleep.

I woke once again to the sound of crying. This time however Four was right by her side. I rolled onto my back as I listened to Four comfort Tris. They moved out of the room and I followed them. I waited for a while but Tris hadn't come back. I got up and followed the sounds of voices to Four's door.

"I don't want to do this if I'm only doing it to distract myself from my grief." I heard Tris whisper. I felt my heart stop, my legs collapsed under me, my ears were ringing as Four replied. My heart felt like it was going to explode. I finally calmed down enough to press my ear to the door.

"I love you." Four whispered into the night. I couldn't stop the tears that spilled from my eyes. I knew, I was so stupid why would he have ever picked me. I took off running, out of the house, out of the safety of the compound and into the depths of the Amity orchards. I collapsed far away from where anyone could hear me and I screamed. I screamed out the pain of watching my friends slaughter innocents, for the loss of life that had taken place. My anger at everyone and everything, of having nowhere safe to call home. But most of all I screamed for the heartbreak. The pain of knowing I hadn't been good enough for the one man I had loved for years. Finally my throat was raw and I was laying on my back in the dirt staring at the stars as sobs wracked my body. My body finally had enough and I fell asleep in the orchard. 

he first few rays of sunshine were what woke me. I climbed one of the trees after brushing dirt off my back. I watched the sky turn purple and then red and orange, finally pink tints kissed the edge of the sky. I sat in that tree for hours, I didn't care if anyone knew where I was. The sun was high in the sky by the time someone finally came upon me. It was a small Amity girl who climbed up next to me in the tree.

"Are you Wren?" she asked me, staring at me with big blue doe eyes.

"Yes I am." I said as she managed to get onto the same branch as me.

"They're looking for you, you know?"

"Are they? Did something happen?"

"Yea the other girl and one of the boys got into a fight. She attacked him." I nodded. It could only have been Peter and Tris she was talking about. "But then the blue eyed one asked where you were, since you share the room. No one has seen you today so everyone is worried. I had a feeling I'd find you here though."

"Why is that?" I looked down at her again, surprised she knew where to look for me.

"Dauntless are used to being strong in front of everyone, so where could you go where you wouldn't have to be strong for anyone? I figured it was far away and I found you in the tree!" she exclaimed. Her giggles filled the air and I couldn't help but join her. Who would have thought that a child would have so much insight. "I want to be like you when I grow up, strong and brave. You risked your life to save those people, I want to be like that." I ruffled her dark curls.

"And you will be amazing at it. Just never let this caring side of yourself go. No matter what anyone tells you, you do not have to be only one thing." I smiled at her. Soon we climbed down the tree together, she grabbed my hand as we walked back.