Finding The Courage

Part 58

I found myself in Peter's arms the next morning when I woke up. It reminded me of the way he had protected me in Erudite from Jeanine. I followed the same routine as the day before, we had all woken up late today though. Some because of sleepless nights and others because there was no reason not to and with no reason to get up anymore our bodies were taking advantage. I pulled on one of the large black sweaters I had taken from Eric's apartment and slid some torn black pants under them. I was in the middle of braiding the top portion of my hair into two french braids and making the ends into a bun when a crisp female voice came over the intercom. 

"There will be an attack drill, lock the door to whatever room you are in from the inside and cover the windows. Remain quietly seated until the alarm stops sounding. This will take place within the hour." Tris was next to Four who was picking at a muffin going on and on about our trip in the airplane. I watched Tris's face fall as Four did not respond that he wished he had been with her. I snickered to myself a little bit and grabbed my own muffin and plopped down next to Peter on the bed. I pick at my muffin as I listen to Tris continue to be insensitive towards Four. The alarms went off before any of us could leave the room. Four locked the doors and closed the curtains while everyone sat down on their cots. Tris pulled out the glass tablet she had hidden under her pillow while the loud screeching sound continued. Cara wrapped a pillow around her head and Peter propped himself up against the wall at the edge of the cot and motioned for me to relax against him. Caleb was missing as were Uriah and Christina, who had been spending a lot of time together recently. Knowing Uriah they were probably off breaking hundreds of rules and exploring every inch of the compound the way he had in Dauntless.

I rested my back against Peter's chest as Tris read. Peter played with my hair as he always did when he was nervous. His eyes were closed but I knew better, he was startled by the sound like the rest of us. It was different from anything we had ever heard before. The sirens stopped blaring after a while but Peter kept playing with my hair. I shifted when Cara exited the room. I sat up and pulled Peter with me, it was clear to me that Tris wanted to be alone with Four. Peter didn't protest my hand in his as I dragged him out of the room, he didn't protest when I left my hand in his as we made our way around the compound. Eventually I left Peter as he caught up with Uriah and Christina off to discover more places they had yet to see.

I made my way toward where I assumed Matthew was looking over our maps. I caught sight of Zoe and Tris going the same way I was and decided to follow them. I could see they were talking but I couldn't make out what they were saying. I slipped in behind them as they entered what must have been Matthew's office.

"A man surrounded by genetic damage cannot help but mimic it with his own behavior. Matthew, David wants a meeting with your supervisor to discuss one of the serum developments. Alan forgot last time I was hoping you would escort him." Zoe said as I settled in a corner away from them still going unnoticed. Tris had her head down and Matthew was staring at his computer.

"Sure, I'll get him to give me a time." Matthew said without even looking up. Zoe left the room and I waited to see if Tris would follow.

"Her argument has a few holes in it doesn't it." Matthew was now watching Tris, tapping his fingers on the arm of his chair.

"Yea."

"Some of the people here want to blame genetic damage for everything, it's easier for them to accept it than the truth. They can't know everything about people and the reason they act the way they do though."

"Everyone had to blame something for the way the world is. It was Erudite for my dad."

"So I shouldn't tell you that the Erudite have always been my favorite." Matthew smirked at Tris.

"Really why?"

"I guess I agreed with them to a certain extent. If everyone kept learning about the world they would have fewer problems."

"My father raised me to be wary of them. My father hated Erudite so I learned to hate them too. Now I'm left to think that maybe he was wrong or just biased."

"About Erudite or about learning?"

"Both. So many of the Erudite helped me when I didn't ask. They were focused on making the world a better place. But what Jeanine did was not about knowledge, but power. Maybe it was the Dauntless who had it right."

"There's an old phrase, Knowledge is power. Power to do evil like Jeanine, or to do good like what we're doing here. Knowledge itself isn't evil."

"We grew up in Abnegation, where power should only be given to people who didn't want it." I finally chimed in and acted like I had just come in.

"Well maybe it's time to grow out of that." Matthew said as he offered Tris a book labeled human biology. "This book taught me what it is to be human." He went back to his computer. Tris thanked him and exited the lab. I took the opportunity to sit in the space she had left.

"Matthew, when we were going over the results of the test you only showed us Tris and Four's maps. What about mine?"

"Yours, beautiful, was different from the others." Matthew smirked at me as he looked away from his computer. "Your genes are totally pure. Unlike Tris, your parents both had broken genes. Your brother has broken genes from what we can tell. You are the only one who is totally pure, the other divergent have healed genes but are not pure in the way you and Tris are. I was incredibly fascinated to find out that you were better than Tris at everything and yet you allowed her to take the lead."

"What do you mean?"

"Your initiation was easy. You could have easily been the leader in both the physical and mental aspects of your Dauntless initiation and yet you let her take your place."

"She was reckless"

"She is, but you are exactly what we have been looking for this entire time."

"Is that why you look at me like you want to eat me?"

"Yes my dear it is." Matthew chuckled. "But it seems you have more than one person protecting you from that." Matthew reached across his desk to pull a strand of my hair between his fingers. "You are very desirable, you remind me of Helen of Troy." I scrunched my face up at a reference I didn't understand. "A woman so beautiful her face launched a thousand ships." Matthew clarified for me.

"Well." I said standing up and letting my hair fall from between his fingers. "Thanks for the explanation." I moved quickly out of the room and back down the hall.