Finding The Courage

Part 71

We found Four in the dorms who told us that Amar was eager to go on an adventure and was unwilling to pass on this chance. He told us that we would be having a meeting over dinner along with George who was going to help us acquire a vehicle. He was laying on one of the beds as we came in and out of the room. He had checked out after telling us the meeting plans. I assumed he was trying to figure out how to tell Zeke that Uriah was dead. I decided on a shower and took my time scrubbing away the dirty feeling that was lingering on my skin after the council meeting. I must have stood under the water for a long time because when I returned to the room with my hair wrapped in a towel and a sweater covering my body I walked in mid conversation between Cara and Four.

"How did you forgive Tris? Assuming you did?"

"I sometimes think I have, sometimes I'm not so sure. It's like asking how you keep on after someone dies. You just do it and keep choosing to do it."

"Could she have made it easier for you somehow?"

"Is this because Of Uriah?" Cara said as she acknowledged me in the room. I nodded to her and tried my best to pretend I was listening to everything they were saying.

"Yes."

"Okay, I think the best thing she did was confess even if she didn't mean to. Admitting and confessing are two different things, admitting makes it softer with excuses. After you confess to Zeke I think you should leave him alone as long as he wants. That's all you can do." Four nodded. "But you didn't kill him. You didn't set off the bomb."

"But I was part of the plan."

"Oh shut up, it happened, it was awful but you aren't perfect. Don't confuse your grief with guilt." They stopped talking after that. Cara left after a few minutes of silence and I followed after her not long after.

Dinner came fast enough and I sat between Peter and Four while Christina, Amar, and George sat across from us. We had wedged ourselves between the beverage counter and a row of trash cans. Amar gave us a time and place to meet. We staggered out leaving and casually made our way to the hallways behind the kitchen. Once we had all arrived he had pulled out a small black box. He handed us each a syringe and an antibacterial wipe.

"What is this, I don't want to inject myself unless I know for sure what it is." Christina stared at the syringe.

"There's a chance they'll release the memory virus while we're in the city, this is to inoculate us against it. Unless of course you want to forget everything. It's the same thing we are giving your family." Amar explained. Christina slapped her arm until there was a vein for her to inject into. Amar, Four, Peter, and I injected it into our necks like Dauntless had done with any other serum. I cracked my neck a little after to lessen the sting of the injection and when I opened my eyes again I saw Peter wiping his neck with his sleeve. I shrugged it off as we all went back to dinner. Peter left without me and I lingered behind unsure of what to do with the rest of the time I had here. Things were about to change again and I was unsure where that left me. I found myself wandering down to the colorful hallway that Nita had dragged us down once. I paused when I heard Christina's voice.

"My little Sister is in there. If Evelyn and the Allegiant attack she could get hurt and I won't be there to protect her."

"What are you suggesting?" Four was the one to respond.

"There has to be a way to prevent a war without resetting everyone's memory."

"Did you have an idea?"

"Can you talk one of your parents down?"

"Are you kidding? They don't listen to anyone."

"So you're just going to let the city rip itself apart?" There was a long pause before Four responded this time.