Falling to the Spotlight

Chapter 20

Chapter 20 

Lines 

I wish I really can say I hate that fact that he is here but something inside me is saying that I like it and that makes me happy but at the same time scared. Dahil hindi naman dapat siya nandito sa harap ko. Hindi mapupunta sa wala yung pagpipigil ko ng ilang buwan sa wala dahil lang sa ganito. 

He should not be here. Hindi dapat nagkrus ang mundo namin ngayon. I don't want to ruin him, ayoko na mawala yung pag-iingat na ginawa niya buong buhay niya. 

"You should not be here." I said when he enter my unit and I feel uneasy dahil baka mamaya may nakakita sa kanya. 

I told myself that I am also gonna protect his privacy at hindi ko hahayaan na madamay siya sa ilaw na meron ako pero ako din naman ata ang may kasalanan why he is here in front of me. Hindi ko dapat siya tinawagan but what can I do myself just want to talk to him and no one else. 

"I told you, pupuntahan kita. I don't care to anything anymore basta malaman ko lang na okay ka... But looking at you now and looking at your puffy eyes I guess you are really not okay." he said and that stop me from speaking at tumitig lang ako sa kanya. 

"Michael, you don't want to be involve in my spotlight." I told him and that makes him look at me at mabilis na lumapit sa'kin and stop in front of me. I look to his face kung noon ang dali basahin ng nakikita ko sa mukha niya ngayon I can't see anything. 

I feel like hindi yung Michael na nakilala ko ang nasa harap ko ngayon. 

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be involve to you. I don't like your spotlight but that doesn't mean I will also not like you." he said and that makes my knees weak pero pinilit ko pa ding tumayo ng maayos to look at him in his eyes. "We are friends, right?" Parang nawala naman yung panghihina ng tuhod ko dahil sa sinabi niya. 

I nodded at him and look away because I feel like he can read what I am feeling at kung ano man 'tong nararamdaman ko alam kong mali. Hindi dapat kaya dapat hindi ko pansinin. I am Chantal Jimenez, my motto is focus on my career and my spotlight not to anything or anyone else. 

Kung ano man 'tong kakaiba na nararamdaman ko I should ignore it. Hindi ko dapat siyang pansinin dahil wala lang 'to. I just really happy to see a friend again after months yun lang. That is maybe one of the reason why my heart beat like this and I feel so happy kahit sobrang bigat noong nangyari between me and Celine masaya lang siguro ako na makita ulit si Michael yun lang. 

"Chantal, tell me. Do you want me to be here or not? I will follow what you want." he said and that make me look at him again and I can see the Michael that I met months ago. 

"I want... But I'm afraid that you can be drag in my light again. This is not right, you are not use to that." I said. 

"Then let's be like before again, let me spend time with you again and I will disappear again when I saw that you are already okay. Because to tell you honestly you cry bothers me that night that is why I am here." he said at hindi na ako nakapagsalita pa doon at tumango na lang. 

He bring a wine na hindi ko nakita kanina kaya natawa na lang ako at mabilis na kumuha ng wine glass bago bumalik ng living room. 

Napapatanong na lang ako sa sarili ko kaya ko bang gawin ulit yung noon. Yung limitado lang ang oras na meron kami yung nagbibilang lang ako ng araw at oras para makasama siya. Why I feel like everything is complicated ngayong gusto ko lang naman maging kaibigan siya. 

"I watch your fashion show on my way here." he said after pouring wine on my glass at mabilis naman akong tumango sa kanya and drink the wine he bring and choose not to speak.