Falling to the Spotlight

Chapter 42

Chapter 42 

Dad 

Since the break up of me and Michael and somce I came back  I focus myself on my work to the point that I don't even have time to meet with my friends dahil pinili ko din naman na ganun. I choose to divert my attention to my work for me not to think of what happen. 

People are still talking about that matter and asking about me and Michael but I am not giving them any answers and also why I choose not to meet my friends because I know they will be curious and they will ask at wala naman akong maisasagot. 

I am making myself tired to all the work for me not to be eaten by my pain at iniisip ko din naman na ito naman siguro ang ginusto ni Michael why not do it. That is why since I came back after a short break pinapagod ko ang sarili ko sa trabaho para wala na akong oras pa para isipin yung nararamdaman ko. 

Because if I will not exhaust myself I will just get tired of crying thinking why our relationship just suddenly become like this. 

"Did you know?" I look at Oliver. Nandito ako sa office niya dahil wala din naman akong gagawin and I am still thinking if I should attend Gray's wedding or not. 

"Know what?" 

"Q&B is now under Evelyn and Quinn and Bethany will face the consequences of their actions." I just nod at him dahil alam kong siya naman ang nag-asikaso ng lahat ng yun he is the one who insist to file a case kaya hindi na lang ako nagsalita at nagreklamo. 

I am too tired and drain to do so. Hinahayaan ko na lang ang lahat at ginagawa ko na lang kung ano ba ang dapat kong gawin. I am lost at alam kong napansin din ng tao sa paligid ko yun. It feels like I am just around pero hindi nila ako maramdaman at mararamdaman lang nila ako once I do what I need to do and that is to work. 

"Chantal, I am worried to you. You are alive but you look like you died." he said. 

"Because I am, my heart just died. Ito na nga ba sinasabi ko e. Once that I lost him hindi ko na alam ano ang mangyayari sa'kin but I am trying ito gusto niya e." I said at mabilis na lumabas ng office ni Oliver and go to the parking to get my car and decided to just go on my unit and sleep at kung hindi man ako makatulog I will just drink sleeping pills for me to fall asleep para hindi na kung ano-ano pa ang pumasok sa isip ko.

That is what I am doing for the past months kung hindi ako pagod at hindi makatulog agad I will take sleeping pills even when I am still on my break. My mom wanted to stay with me at my unit but I said no dahil ayoko na makita niya how miserable I am dahil kaya ko naman magpanggap sa harap ng lahat na okay lang ako bukod na lang sa mga taong kilala talaga ako and that includes Oliver. 

My sister is also worried to me after hearing what happen to me and Michael but I told her that I am fine at kahit na alam kong hindi siya naniwala doon wala na din siyang nagawa because she also knows me. I like dealing with everything alone. I like dealing with my own pain alone talagang dumating lang noon si Michael to help me pero alam kong kaya ko naman. 

"Alam mo, Chantal. Hindi bagay sa'yo ang ganyan. Sungitan mo na lang ako please." Jayce said at inirapan ko naman siya pero hindi ko din mapigilan ang hindi ngumiti sa kanya. I know Jayce is trying to cheer me up every time we are together. 

Not everyone knows that Michael and I just broke up the day I confirm our relationship pero alam ko na yung mga tao sa paligid nakakatunog na kung ano ba ang nangayari. I don't have any news about Michael, hindi ko alam kung ano ang pinagkakaabalahan niya after our break up or he is okay because I choose not to know and even talk to the people who is close to him kaya nga nagulat ako na may invitation na dumating sa'kin galing kay Gray.