Falling to the Spotlight

Chapter 24

Listen to the song above while reading mostly to the last part hihi wala lang gusto ko lang po. 

Chapter 24 

Ready 

Time can't make you forget everything but time is also a big help for you to heal. That is what I've learn after everything that happen. This past months I really focus on myself and to heal while and what really help me is thinking of my past and make it as my inspiration to be okay. 

It's already Ber months and I become busy shooting my reality show  with Irene and also there is new movie for me and Jayce dahil tapos na yung teleserye naming dalawa. Dapat nga hindi namin tatanggapin yun but we both realized we don't need a break and I really need to work. 

That is why parehas naming tinanggap that is why while shooting my reality show with Irene kasabay din yung shooting ko for the movie. 

"What is really the reason bakit tiinanggap mo yung movie?" I ask Jayce habang inaayusan kami for the next scene. 

"Kawawa ka naman wala kang kasama." he said kaya sinamaan ko naman siya ng tingin ng wala sa oras. 

"I'm serious." I said. 

"Because you accepted it and I know it's hard for you to work to other people lalo na may mga intimate scenes." he said kaya natawa na lang ako sa kanya. 

"Sabihin you just want to do all that thing with me." pang-aasar ko sa kanya kaya siya naman ngayon ang sinamaan ako ng tingin. 

It's already November and this is the last shooting for the movie at next year na ang sunod dahil kaunti na lang din naman yun and kalagitnaan pa naman next year yung release nun. I am planning to go on NYC on December at pumayag din naman sila Oliver at Mia but it's just two weeks because may tinanggap akong fashion show kaya ang punta ko talaga bago na magpasko pagkatapos ng schedule ko na yun. 

I am not overworking myself it's just that hindi ko talaga kaya pag wala akong ginagawa kaya isa na din sa escape ko ang pagtatrabaho. And for the past months Celine never stop calling me and she is calling me everyday pero tahimik lang naman ako at nakikinig lang sa kanya hanggang sa matapos siya. 

Me forgiving and accepting her is a process for me and I can say I am getting better at alam kong kaunti na lang talaga ang kailangan ko for me to forgive and accept her fully baka in that way makayanan ko ng makasama sila ni Daddy. 

My life is like that for the remaining weeks and today is my flight to NYC and I am just wearing a sunglasses and some people are recognizing me pero hindi ko na din sila pinapansin. And to Michael on the other side matapos mapanood yung news na yun hanggang doon na lang ang nalaman ko tungkol sa kanya wala ng iba pa.

I just know that he is now successful kahit naman siguro hindi niya pa nakukuha yun for me he is already successful and he deserve that kahit noong una hindi ko pa maisip na chemical engineering pala ang tinapos niya. 

But there are still days where I regret why I said those words to him kung bakit pinili ko na alisin ako sa buhay niya but I can say na maganda din naman siguro ang naging resulta nun. And I wonder ano na kaya sila ni Lilian ngayon because of what I've heard from Jayce she already had a boyfriend hindi lang natuloy ang sasabihin ni Jayce noong tinawag na kami at hindi ko na din naman natanong ang tungkol doon and choose to be quiet. 

And I will admit until now the weird feeling is still here kahit ilang buwan naman na simula noong huli kaming nagkita. It's still here at hindi ko alam kung paano siya aalisin o kung maalis ko pa ba that is why I am scared. Scared to the point na yung nararamdaman ko mas lumalim pa at talagang hindi ko na mapigilan ang sarili ko.