Falling to the Spotlight

Chapter 32

Chapter 32 

Fear 

When I am thinking about my younger self I sometimes wonder ano nga ba ang pangarap ko yung batang ako bukod sa nakamit ko ngayon. Since I was a child I am a girl who likes to dream pero sa lahat ng pinangarap ko yung iba hindi ko na maalala but I am sure I have a lot of dreams na nasabi ko kay Mommy noon. 

Hindi ako katulad ng ibang bata noon na papalit-palit ng pangarap if they will be curious to something because I am the type of child who will just dream hindi ko sasabihin na ayoko ng maging ganiyan gusto ko na maging ganito, I am not like that because what I am doing is I am adding up something to my dream. 

And I did remember dreaming about looking for my own prince charming. I remember I told Michael that I hate disney movies mostly if it talks about finding your own prince charming I don't believe in those but the truth is bata pa lang ako I always wanted to be a princess and look for my own prince charming. 

Kung pagkukumparahin ko ang batang ako at ako ngayon paniguradong magtatalo sila because the young me believes that I have my own prince charming but me now I believe that not every princess need to look for her prince charming and not every princess doesn't need a prince charming on their side because every princess is okay without a man in their life. 

Yun ang pinaniniwalaan ko noon not until I fall to Michael. Not until he make me believe that there is really a prince charming who will claim you as him but Michael is not the type of prince charming who will let you seat at the throne as a princess or his partner because he will let you shine on your own he will let you do what you wanted to do not as his partner and your responsibility to him. You will not be only titled as his partner or his own princess because he will make you stand on your own.  

"Uuwi ka na agad?" Jayce ask after our taping. 

"Yeah, someone is waiting for me at home." I said and I can't help but to smile thinking that Michael is at my unit waiting for me. 

"Sana all may uuwian. I think I need to find my own love life." He said at natawa naman ako doon. 

"Yeah, you should. Para naman hindi lang ako ang nagsasawa sa mukha mo di ba?" I said and laugh kaya sinamaan niya  naman ako ng tingin but I just shrugged. 

Matapos ng mall show mabilis na kumalat yung mga articles about sa sinabi ni Jayce sa mall show and some people understand what Jayce meant to his words at may mga nagsasabi pa nga na hindi naman daw talaga dapat silang umasa na pwede kaming magkatuluyan ni Jayce but some people said that what Jayce said is a sign that he has a girlfriend na hindi talaga ako pero hindi na namin pinansin yun ang mahalaga alam naman ng lahat ang gusto naming iparating it's up to them if they will understand it or not. 

Isang linggo na din since Michael came here ang buong akala ko talaga ilang araw lang siya but he told me he will stay for a month and do his work here dahil pwede naman daw yun that is why I told him to stay at my unit while I am doing my work he is at my unit doing his work. 

That is why I am happy every time I am going home this past few days kung noon masaya akong uuwi dahil finally tapos na ang araw ko at tapos na din ang trabaho ko but now it's totally different I am going home to him just by the thought of seeing him after a long day I can't help but to feel happy. 

Sana lagi na lang kaming ganito... But I know it's too impossible dahil kagaya nga ng lagi kong sinasabi yung relasyon na meron kami ni Michael ay hindi yung klase ng relasyon na sa isa't isa na iikot ang mundo namin. Michael make me realize it though dahil kung ako handa akong gawin siyang mundo ko but I know he will be mad at me pag ginawa ko yun. 

For us, our love for each other is enough for us to keep our relationship strong. 

"Sigurado ako Chantal if I will have a girlfriend hindi yun magsasawa sa'kin. Ikaw lang naman ang taong madalas magsawa sa mukha ko!" he said at hindi ko na siya sinagot kaya inirapan niya na lang din ako bago maglakad palabas ng tent ko pero hindi pa man siya nakakalabas may pumasok na ng tent ko na naging dahilan bakit nagkabungguan sila.