Falling to the Spotlight

Chapter 41

Chapter 41 

Let go 

I know that in this kind of situation I need to talk to Michael first because this concerns us but I know him very well. Alam ko na agad kung ano nag gugustuhin niyang gawin namin and I know that it will not match what I want to do that is why I decided on my own. 

Alam kong mali yun because this is our relationship but what can I do this is all I know tha right thing to do know. 

Simula ng maging kami I always tried to understand his side and what he want to do. Una pa lang naman I am ready to let my world knows him but the problem is siya ang hindi handa that is why I waited. 

I waited for him to realize that he don't need to keep on hiding just to protect me, that I don't need to hide him because from the very beginning I am ready to lose it all he is just the one who don't want me to lose anything. 

Hindi naman kasi ibig sabihin na pag may mawala sa'kin walang dadating. Hindi ko naman kasi hahayaan na mawala yung pangarap ko simula bata pa lang ako but I can be the normal model Chantal Jimenez not the famous one that is enough for me. 

Because honestly, being in my position now is hard. I am so tired of reaching people's expectation. It's tiring to act that everything is okay in front of everybody it's hard hearing people's judgements dahil kahit naman gaano kadami yung sumusuporta sa'kin hindi pa din mawawala doon yung panghuhusga ng tao and it's tiring. 

Kahit gaano ko pa kamahal yung ginagawa ko minsan nakakapagod din humarap sa mga tao because kahit anong gawin mo may masasabi sila tungkol sa'yo. 

And now that I am facing this issue and mess mapapatunayan ko na mabilis nga sa tao na husgahan ka at magsabi ng kung ano-ano without hearing your side they will just believe what they want to believe dahil nakikita at nababasa nila and they will not listen to the truth anymore. 

"You okay?" Mia asked while we are on our way to the agency where the press conference are being held and a lot of reporters and media is already waiting for me. 

"Yes, I am just scared on what's gonna happen after the things I will do today." I said pertaining to Michael. 

I am scared sa tumatakbo sa isip niya sa mga oras na 'to dahil alam ko naman na alam niya na kung ano ang plano ko but the fact that he get his things out of my unit it start to scared the hell out of me. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang umiikot sa isip niya ngayon because since all this happen we didn't talk properly. 

We arrive at the agency and Oliver check on me and ask me if I am ready and I just gave him a smile at gusto ko na lang matawa when I saw worry in his eyes. It's always random because Oliver is a person who is good at hiding hos worries but I think now hindi niya magawa yun. 

"You are worried." I teased while looking at him and he roll his eyes at me kaya natawa ako. 

"Because I can see through you that you are trying to be strong. You are strong enough Chantal no need to try so hard it will just hurt you." He pinch my cheeks bago ako iwan mag-isa at nauna ng lumabas sa'kin and I was left alone. 

Come to think of it kung hindi pa sinabi yun ni Oliver hindi ko mapapansin na yun pala ang ginagawa ko since all this happen. I should be crying because of frustration but I choose to go up and face everything instead of crying in the corner. Ang hirap nga subukan na maging matapang. 

Tinawag na ako na lumabas and camera shutters and people whispering welcome me and I just gave them a small smile bago tumayo sa harap nilang lahat. 

"Hi, I'm Chantal Jimenez." I said when I got to hold the mic. Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago buong tapang na humarap sa kanila and gave them the confirmation and the answers that people badly want to hear.