Falling to the Spotlight

Chapter 17

Chapter 17 

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At first I never saw myself forgiving people who give me pain and that includes my mom because for me even though I really understand her reason it's hard for me to stay with her with the thinking of she left me there and because of that I experience all of that. 

But now I realize I didn't need to forgive her because in the first place hindi naman talaga  dapat ako magalit kay Mommy. She doesn't deserve my wrath I forget to understand her side dahil ang alam ko lang iniwan niya ako doon kaya yun ang nangyari sa'kin. 

I choose to think that I am mad at her for leaving me instead of accepting all her reasons why she need to leave me there. 

"Should I be thankful na isang Chantal Jiminez umattend ng concert ko." Zemira said when I enter the backstage for her concert. 

Maagang natapos ang schedule ko and she also invited me kaso ang sinabi ko naman kasi may schedule ako nun pero maaga namang natapos that is why I decided to go here at pupunta din naman daw kasi si Irene mamaya. 

"I can leave if you want to." I said and that make her laugh. I just greeted everyone in the dressing room and they all smile at me. Zem is done with her hair and make up at suot niya na din yung damit niya para sa intro niya mamaya. 

"Buong akala ko naman kasi mas mahalaga pa ang schedule mo kaysa sa'kin." she said and pout here lips. I roll my eyes at her. 

Zemira always looks cute when she is doing that it's because she have a baby face and you will really think that she is a teen but no I am just a year older than her. 

"Wow, did you forgot you also didn't go to my birthday party last December 10." I said at natahimik naman siya doon and gave ma an apologetic smile. Well, hindi naman ako nagalit sa kanya doon dahil nga busy na siya para sa year end concert niya na magaganap ngayong December. This is the first time she will do this year end concert pero sinabiniya naman na gagawin niya na daw yun every year starting this year as a charity concert.

"Grabe may pambawi." she said kaya ako naman ngayon ang natawa and her PA told us to take a picture kaya yun ang ginawa namin and I just stay there hanggang sa 30 minutes na lang before the concert ends kaya nagpaalam na ako sa kanya para magpunta na sa VIP section where I can sit. 

When people saw me some people shouted my name and scream kaya ngumiti na lang din ako at kumaway there is an empty space beside me but I saw Irene's name in there. Wala pa pala siya. I message her earlier ang sabi niya pupunta naman daw siya may inaayos lang. 

This is the first time I will attend a concert because I am not into music and such kaya kahit na may nag-iinvite sa'kin hindi talaga ako nakakapunta but Zemira is different she become important to me at alam kong hindi niya din ako titigilan. 

While waiting I just open my phone and I saw a message from my mom na pinipilit akong umuwi to spent time with her on New Year dahil hindi na nga daw ako umuwi noong birthday ko hanggang ngayong pasko. 

It's been two months since I realize that I should not make my mom feel like she don't have a daughter dahil nilalayo ko ang sarili ko. Mabilis akong nagpabook ng flight noon pauwing New York and pumayag din naman si Oliver doon and I stay with my mom for two weeks and she is shock ng makita ako and I just hug her and say sorry for not understanding her. 

I thought she will not accept me but I am wrong because she gave me a smile and touch my face with a tears in her face and ask if I already eat and when I shake my head she ask me to come and cook for me. 

And that time I feel like na may gumaan sa pakiramdam ko and I am happy looking at my mom again just like how I look at her before. 

She want me to go to her to spent my birthday and Christmas until New Year but I really can't dahil kahit na holiday nun ang dami kong schedule na hindi ko kayang mamiss kaya sinabi ko na babawi na lang ako sa kanya or she can go to me and she agreed pero hindi niya pa alam kung kailan.