Clouded by the Dark Side

Chapter 17 - The Lurmens

Warning: Mentions/implied child abuse!

~ Amina Gila

Aniya Skywalker

Once they're gone, I turn to the clones. "Keep watch," I command. "We'll take turns. I'll stay in the tent for now." Because I should really go first, but I don't know I have the strength to do that right now. Not with so much going on. Not when Anakin nearly died.

"Yes, General," agrees Appo. I step back into the tent, seating myself next to my brother. I'm glad to be away from everyone. I don't have to hold back my emotions anymore, not for now. I can hide them from others, but I can't hide from myself.

On the outside, we always seem to give the impression of being fearless. It's a notion that's sheer nonsense. We're always afraid. We can't let go of anyone. Ever. Not our mother – we already proved that when we went to Tatooine, completely disobeying orders. Not Padme. Not Jaufre. Not Qui-Gon – I definitely proved that only days after we met. Not Obi-Wan. Not Alema or Ahsoka. And certainly not each other. Without them, any of them, who would I even be? Neither Anakin nor I love anyone easily, and when we do, it's always something far deeper than most people would understand.

The Jedi call it an attachment. They say it's wrong, but I'm not entirely sure it is. Why? What's wrong about caring for someone? It might be overwhelming and hard to control, but I know it can be done. And there's always another way. We don't have to let anyone die to accomplish a mission. We just don't. There's always more than one way to accomplish something, even if the majority of the Jedi don't see it that way. That's one thing I've learned both from experience and from my master.

Sighing softly, I can only hope sending the padawans alone was a good idea. I should have gone with them, but I couldn't leave Anakin alone either. The idea is simply unthinkable.

I wish we'd gotten him back to Coruscant. I'm guessing, just from looking at him, that he has a major concussion and several broken ribs. He might not die, but he definitely needs medical attention, and I don't want to tempt fate.

I'm going to try to make our padawans learn more about healing, if possible. The hardest part about my brother and I is that drugs don't affect us. Which means painkillers don't work at all. Which also means we need someone to put us in a trance to keep us from feeling it, something we learned the hard way. It's not something either of us are able to do to each other very well. People always act like being the Chosen Twins is some sort of great honor, but sometimes, it feels more like a curse. It's all added up over time, and now it takes far, far too much to make us lose consciousness, and even then, we often don't completely. Like Anakin isn't right now.

I stretch out on the ground, rolling onto my side to lay next to my brother. I slip an arm over him, taking his left hand in mine. It somehow feels protective and like drawing comfort from his presence at once, and the feeling itself really makes me wonder why the Jedi have such beliefs about attachments. Somehow, some of the tension seems to fade from him at my touch. I scoot slightly closer to him, then rest my head on my other arm as exhaustion finally overtakes me.

Sensations of pure darkness seem to emanate off the very walls. Somehow, it seems to have extended over the entire galaxy. An all-consuming darkness.

A dark figure comes into view. I can't recognize him, but something about him and the way he moves seems familiar. He's fighting people, many people, but no one, it seems, can stand against him. He's not wielding a lightsaber, but it hardly seems to matter. He throws them down halls or kills them, easily dodging all their attacks as he stalks down the halls.

Finally, he comes to a door. A group of people are gathered, though I can't tell whether they're trying to get into the room or attack him. One of them fires at him, but the dark figure instantly starts Force-choking him, throwing him across the hall into the wall. I can't tell if he's dead, but from the way he hits the ground and the snap I'm fairly certain I heard, I think he is. And for the first time, I realize who the dead man is. Appo.