Euphoria: Dosage of Rhapsodies

Chapter 36

The battle of stares between us cut short by Eli. Right before the music ends, kaagad niya akong inilayo kay Israel because of our weird position. Hindi naman kasi part ng choreo 'yong biglang ginawa ni Israel, lakas mag marunong. I also felt awkwardness because of that. Sobrang OA ng puso ko sa bilis ng pagtibok nito.

"Your moves are impressive, Israel." Nabaling ang atensyon ko kay Eli na mataman ang tingin kay Israel. "But learn to limit those. Prevent yourself from crossing the boundaries. You're making me jealous."

Hindi pa man ako naka-ge-get over sa sinabi ni Eli nang bigla na lang ako nitong hilahin palabas ng kwartong iyon. Ramdam ko 'yong mabigat na awra na dala niya dahil na rin sa paraan ng paghawak niya sa kamay ko... sobrang higpit na tila ba ayaw akong pakawalan.

"Are you mad?" Nilakasan ko ang loob ko na tanungin siya in the midst of walking. 

"Why would I?" he returned.

"Come on, Eli. I know you are." I stopped from walking, nagmamatigas akong hindi niya ako mahatak sa paglalakad.

"Now you're being jealous? Sino ba ang nagdesisyon nito? Hindi ba't ikaw?"

I could see how he clenched his trembling fist. "Can you stop bringing it up? Maski ako ay hindi ko ginusto na mag-fall ako sa desisyong 'yon. Kung may iba naman akong option na pagpipilian, do you think I will let you paired with Israel?"

"Torture sa akin ang desisyong ito, Corrine. Kung nahihirapan ka sa gan'tong setup, sana naisip mo rin na doble ang sakit nito sa part ko." He heaved a long sigh. "Kaya 'wag na lang nating pagtalunan ito, okay? Kaya ko namang tiisin. Ang 'di ko lang maipapangako ay ang hindi magselos. Of course, I can't do that. Nothing really hurts more than seeing my woman in her ex-lover's arms."

"But I was afraid," he continued, "for the possibility of breaking my promise... this time, to you."

"That in the second time, your career wins over love?" I sniffled. "If that happens, I'll respect your decision. Being able to breathe the same atmosphere, naiintindihan kita kung sakaling mas piliin mo ang career mo kaysa sa akin. Marami kang fans na mabibigo sakaling magpaka-selfish ka, kumpara sa akin... mag-isa lang ako na masasaktan mo laban sa marami."

"I'm not saying I will give up on you, Corrine," he objected, tossing his serious stare at me. "I'll try my best to keep my promise, okay? As long as we trust each other, I'm good."

I just remain silent. Nagpatuloy na kaming dalawa sa paglalakad nang hindi nagkikibuan hanggang sa makarating sa sasakyan. Iwasan ko man na mag-overthink pero may sariling utak yata ang utak ko at ito na ang kusang gumagawa at nag-iisip ng bagay na ayaw kong gawin.

Weird.

Ewan ko ba... bigla akong kinabahan sa naging daloy ng pag-uusap namin kanina ni Eli. To think na sa bibig na niya mismo nanggaling na may possibility na hindi na naman siya tumupad sa pangako, I was thinking that maybe he was planning to abandoned me just for his career... just like what he did to Magi.

What if that happens? Mayroon din kayang kagaya ni Dylan ang darating sa buhay ko? Or rather I will just choose to be a single lady for my entire life? Iniisip ko pa lang na mangyayari 'yon, parang ayoko nang mabuhay. I don't think I can love again after Eli.

*****

I'm on my way sa salon ni Gretchen na binili ko. Theo just called me earlier telling that Gretchen was there, looking for the new owner of her beloved salon. Mukhang ito na ang magandang timing para magpakilala akong muli sa witch na 'yon. Tingnan ko lang kung ano ang magiging reaction niya once she found out I was the root of her misery.