Listen To Your Heart ~ Book One.

Doggy Duties

(I rub the dog's belly until it thumps its tail. Then I scoop it up in my arms and carry it towards the elevator, as I continue rubbing it's one ear. We soon arrive on the ground floor. I put the dog down. He looks at me and wags his tail.)

"Now that wasn't so bad...huh?"

(We leave the hotel and walk across the lot to the dog park. Luckily for me it was more well-lit than I expected. The dog does his business, we walk back towards the hotel. We continue this routine for months. Traveling from one place to another. Only time I see Billie is during sound checks or the actual show itself. Every time I try to talk to her, there's always someone else around. Whether it's her family, or crew or other rappers who are opening the show for her...and then there was 'the hugs'. Every time a different rapper would open a show for her, she always thanked them by giving them a hug. I hadn't had a hug from her in months, and that only made the tension between us worse.)

(Then there's the interviews and photo ops. Not just for Billy, but for me as well. We didn't get any 'alone' time....and when I tried, she got irritable that I was interrupting her routine. I was really beginning to hate my newfound fame. I felt totally invisible to her.)

(I still didn't know why she glared at me, when I waved hi to her...and that had been three months ago. We seldom talked, unless she wanted to yell at me about something, that didn't suit her on stage. We hadn't spent any nights together, in one another's arms. I may not have been wearing any handcuffs or ankle bracelets, but just the growing tension between Billie and myself, made me feel like I was.)

(We get a brief break from touring, and I thought Billie and I would finally spend time together, which we did, on the same plane. Only problem was Billie was in first class with her mother and her crew. I got stuck with my crew towards the back of the plane. A problem with scheduling the airline claimed. I knew that wasn't true, Billie's manager had probably arranged it that way.)

(The tension between Billie and myself finally started to show, when we both got asked to do a show with Ellen. I personally didn't like her or her damn show, but after calling Valerie long distance and being told 'very firmly' by her that I had to honor the contract, and do the show, I didn't have much choice.)

(I had gotten a warning from my personal assistant Stephanie, that Billie's manager had contacted my manager and Valerie, and told them that Ellen had the habit of asking personal questions, and that I was 'supposed' to let Billie handle any questions concerning relationships. In other words, keep my mouth shut. I didn't like it one bit, but at least Valerie had promised to be there during the show, so at least I had one person in my corner still...I hoped.)