Listen To Your Heart ~ Book One.

Cranky Billie

"I got a bad feeling about this, Billie's not here. Maybe her hatred for me is worse than I thought."

"She'll be here. My Mom went to get her."

(As if on cue, Billie's mother comes in with Billie in her wheelchair. Billie sees me and her eyes burn with pure hatred.)

"Oh...hell no. I'm not sitting thru this shit!"

"Billie, please! We've discussed this! Here's been here every day to see you and help you to walk again. The least you can do is stay here and listen!"

"FINE!" (Billie huffs angrily. She crossers her arms.) "Well? Don't stand there staring at me! Play your shitty fucking song already!"

"Billie!" (Her mother admonishes her.)

(I glance at Finneas and Claudia sitting behind me and roll my eyes.)

"Bitch." (I mutter.)

"I HEARD THAT!" (Billie hollers.)

"Maybe we should start the song?" (Claudia suggests.)

(I nod to Finneas, who plays the opening chord. I open my mouth to sing and my voice breaks.)

(Billie laughs at me.)"You suck!!

"Billie..." (Her mother warns.)

"Well...he does!"

"Billie...that's enough!" (Her father says.)

"Whatever!" (Billie grumbles.)

"Sorry about that everyone." (I say.) "Not used to singing country, I guess. Let's try again."

(Finneas plays the opening chord again. As I begin to sing.)

"Lord, I got this feeling...deep inside of me. I just can't begin to realize; how much she means to me. I love to hold her in my arms, I love to see her smile. Lord have mercy, I think that I'm in love...with her."

(I begin playing my guitar.)

"I float on your laughter...I drown in your tears. My heart starts a thumping, whenever you are near. I swear that heaven must've sent me an angel, the day I meant you. I guess what I'm trying to say...is girl...I really...need you."

"I feel my breath escape me, whenever you kiss me. And the way that you hold me...makes me weak in the knees. Maybe I'm going crazy...maybe I've lost my mind. I just want to be with you, until...the end...of time."

(Music ends.)

"I just want to hold you...until the day...I die."

(The patients applaud politely at the end of the song.)

"Thank you." (I look towards Billie, who glares at me.)

"You weren't there for me when I needed you the most...and now what? You're trying to apologize by singing me a fucking song? GO TO HELL!" (She wheels herself back towards her room.)

"Billie!" (Her mother throws me a sympathetic look, as she leaves the room, following Billie.)

"You gave it a shot, bro. That's all you can do." (Finneas tells me.)

"No."(I reply.) "I still got one more shot left."

(About ten minutes later, I'm walking towards Billie's room with my duffel bag in my hand. I hear Billie and her mother arguing.)

"Damn it, Billie. David's hurting too. Don't you think you getting raped affected those who care about you as well?"

"So, his way of apologizing is by singing me a shitty ass song? C'mon Mom...I can come up with better shit then that, while I'm sleep rapping."

"Billie Eilish, your hatred towards everyone is what's keeping you from getting better both physically and emotionally! Maybe if you'd stop yelling at everyone and let us try to help?"

"All the help in the world won't change what happened, Mom. I was raped, it's over. So why fuckin talk about it?"