laundry love [completed]

o n e : sorting

"you really don't want to do that, mister."

"go way, stranger-who-dresses-up-like-phoebe-from-friends. i'm in no mood for your shenanigans."

"ooh, b i g word. me likey."

"..."

"you're going to pretend i did not just say that. also, you might want to use detergent instead of bleach."

"uh, what's the difference?"

"for starters, you use bleach to whiten your clothes whereas detergents are used for removing dirt. another point of difference is that bleach is an oxidizing agent and a detergent is an emulsifying agent. that is, the molecules react to form...okay, i should stop now."

"thank-fucking-god."

"..."

"i mean, uh, thank you."

"you're welcome. try not to flood the place down."

"..."

"i'm serious. i'll chop of your non-existent ding dongs and suture them to your head."

"..."

"oh, don't you worry. i'll make sure that middle finger is stapled too."

"bye."

"bye."

choke. choke. c h o k e . splutter. splutter. s p l u t t e r .

"fuck."