laundry love [completed]

e i g h t y n i n e : dried

"i fell for you the minute you threatened to make chouriço out of my scottish sausage, ira. no, the minute you threatened to chop off my non-existent ding-dongs and suture them to my head."

"..."

"your inability to say the word 'vagina' or wince at the very mention of the word 'penis', how naïve  you are when it comes to 'fornication'."

"..."

"your determination to make me master the art of doing laundry, the constipated look that you have whenever you try to whistle, your eerie resemblance to phoebe buffay, your ability to pull my head out of my arse whenever the snob side of me comes out, the uncountable ramen noodle disasters that you've encountered...etcetera, etcetera, etcetera."

"you know, you almost made me want to have sex with you again."

"what changed?"

"those three etcetera's at the end." 

"like i said, i'm your cheesy little motherfucker after all."