Joshua D. Evans

Alternative Ending Part 3 ~Final~

Colleens PoV
He.. He's gone.... Noah.. ..Noah is dead. I was trying to process this through my head while holding on to Noah's lifeless hand. "Oh god, why does life have to be so terrible!", I yell. My heart is pounding, my mind is racing, and I am drowning in my own tears. My... My son is gone... it all happened to quickly. "Noah! NOAH!!", I scream, hoping that he would, somehow, come back.

Josh's PoV

Noah... my son... is... is gone. I missed... I missed his whole life. Everything. Now I can never make it up to him. This is something that I know I will remember the rest of my life. I am covered in tears, still holding his hand. Colleen is too, and she is screaming. "Coll...Colleen, we.. we can get through this..." "How, Josh, how... our first child is... is dead!" "We..we just have to..suffer together..." I let go of Noah's hand and walk around the bed to hug Colleen. We hold each others hand and look at Noah. A nurse then
comes in and unhooks all of the equipment and covers him.

Colleens PoV

I collasped on my knees and balling my eyes out while the nurses were taking Noah away. Josh bent down and wrapped his arm around me. "What.. What now, Josh?" "We have to move on..together" He helped lift me up and we left the hospital. He drove us home. It was a silent drive. I broke the silence, "How..how are we going to tell everyone?" I choked out. "Let's make a video when we get home." We arrived, and I almost collasped again as soon as we walked in, looking at all of Noah's toys and things. Josh kissed me, and whispered, "We will never forget about him." We set up the cameras and, both in tears, we started.
(Josh's voice)
"Hey, everybody... uh a very terrible.. terrible thing happened to us...to everybody... um well earlier today.. we were in the process of making a video and Noah.." Josh stopped because he was trying to hold back the tears.

(Colleens voice)
"Noah started coughing really, really badly.. and then it got worse, like he was gasping for air. So we rushed him to the hospital, and uhh.....they said his lungs collasped. And later that day he...he left us."

(Josh's voice)
"So this video is just to let you know what has happened. I don't know what we are going to do next. So for now, bye."

Josh's PoV

Without editing, I uploaded it. Colleen went to the bathroom, and I started getting condolences immediately.

Colleens PoV

I ran into the bathroom after we finished with the video. I just can't stand the fact that my child had to suffer and die because of me. I got out the razor and started cutting myself. I changed into a long sleeve shirt to cover the cuts so Josh won't see.

Josh's PoV
I was talking to Rachel on the phone when Colleen came back.
R:Stay strong guys, everything is going to be alright.
J: Yeah, I hope so..
R: Hey Josh, is Colleen there?
J: Mhm, do you want to speak to her?
R: Yeah.
C: Hello
R: Colleen, listen to me, don't let this make you do stupid things, that won't solve anything.
C: ....
R: Colleen?
C: Oh..um.. sorry, uh..okay.
R: Alright, best of luck to both of you.

After that a lot of other close friends and family contacted us. Colleen and I cuddled together and cried for the rest of the night.

Colleens PoV

It was nice, to suffer through this with someone. I cant even imagine what I would do if Josh wasnt here right now. And all the support everyone has been giving. But I still don't regret cutting myself. It's what needed to be done.

The rest of the week was very gloomy, not having that little boy running around the apartment, being the wonderful little kid he was. The funeral was depressing too. I am continuing to cut myself. Its the only thing I can do to make myself not feel as bad. When I don't cut, I feel worthless and terrible.

Josh's PoV

Colleen has fallen into depression. But I can't blame her, the loss of a child is supposedly the worst. I am pretty depressed too. I need to do something that would allow us to move on, but not to forget about him.
Just something to get us back on track. Colleen walked out of the bathroom. "Hey, Colleen, can I talk to you." When she turned to me, she quickly rolled down her sleves. "Um.. hey.. what was on your arm.." "Nothing" she said instantly and nervously. "Uh, I know I saw something, roll up your sleeves." "No, there is nothing there." I rush over to her and push her sleeves up, to find cuts and scars all up her arms. "Colleen!" There was at least 50 on each arm. "Oh, baby, come on!", I scream. "Josh, what else am I supposed to do!"

Colleens Pov

Oh no, Josh just found out that I was cutting myself. "Josh, what else am I supposed to do!" Josh started crying and sat down with his hands covering his crying face. "We... We can get through this together, Colleen, I know we can, but I can't believe you did this to yourself." He rapidly stood up and grabbed my shoulders. "Promise me you will never do this ever again." Crying, I shook my head yes. We hugged, then made out, and then it led to something more. During that, I realized that I had someone that cared so deeply for me. That's what I was missing. And by hurting myself, I am making him suffer. That's not right, I need to stop. And right then and there was the first time when I forgot about my depression and really enjoyed myself. 1 week later, I stepped out of the bathroom, screaming Josh's name. He came immediately and I showed him a little plastic stick that read "positive". He was shocked at first, but then a big grin spread across his face. I started crying tears of joy. Josh hugged me, wiped away my tears, and then we kissed.

~~~~ One Year Later~~~~

Finally we were home with our baby girl, Lily Mae Evans. The pregnancy went great, and Lily is as perfect as can be. I am finally at true happiness with myself. I have a family now. And they aren't going anywhere. To this day, I still look back at all the scars, and regret every bit of it. And my happiness is all thanks to my beloved, Joshua D. Evans.

Authors Note:
:( That's it everybody. Hope you enjoyed it. This was the first book I ever wrote, how did I do? What was your favorite chapter? New book coming later! Thank you everybody for making this so amazing, it gave me so much inspiration and happiness! Can't wait to write the next one!