AOT Oneshots

Levi Ackerman - Denial

Levi Ackerman's good friend Hange Zoë just came out. But, does he have the confidence to do the same?
TW: Slight mention of previous panic attack, self hate

Levi stares up at the ceiling of his room, utterly drained from his attack. He hadn't had one in years, and he was sure he had gotten control of his anxiety. He hates feeling weak and things being out of his control. But the familiar feeling has enveloped him, and before he knew it, he was on the ground holding Erwin like a lifeline.

Erwin.

Levi feels terrible for making Hange feel like the attack was their fault - yes, he could tell, he had been working with them long enough to read their face - but their identity had nothing to do with it.

It was the idea of coming out himself.

Levi is gay. He has known for almost a year now. He had been able to ignore his feelings growing up, but it was Erwin who forced him to face the facts.

Erwin.

With his steady grip and calm voice, always sure, always steadfast.

Erwin.

With his handsome face and beautiful eyes.

Erwin.

Who had saved him too many times to count.

And he is terrified of losing that.

What if he comes out, and Erwin hates him? Or feels uncomfortable? Or...

No. He needs to slow his breathing. He will not show vulnerability again. He's already angry at himself for showing so much emotion earlier.

Despite being drained, Levi hoists himself off the bed and goes to train.

While polishing his ODM gear for the umpteenth time, Erwin and Hange come outside to train. Hange looks at him worriedly, but otherwise, no one mentions the events of earlier.

The two begin practicing sword work on dummys. Erwin's aim is exceptional.

Levi can't let anyone surpass him. He needs to be the best. For him, his worth is measured by his accomplishments.

The captain stands, swaying slightly. He fires up his ODM gear and runs toward a dummy mounted in a tree. He runs forward...

and falls.

Erwin and Hange rush over as Levi gasps for air.

"Levi! Are you ok?" Erwin says. He reaches down a hand to help the captain up.

"Yes. I'm fine," Levi replies, taking Erwin's hand. "Just tripped."

The commander looks at him with concern. "Levi, you're overworking yourself. You just had a panic attack, for heaven's sake! You're allowed to take breaks!"

"No! I can't!" Levi shouts. "If O take a break, I show weakness! And I am NOT WEAK!"

Erwin recoils as if he has been slapped. "Oh, Levi... is that really how you feel?" He crouches down and looks the shorter in the eyes. "Breaks don't show weakness. They show bravery."

Levi begins to sob.

"Hey... you know you can tell me anything right?" Erwin says. "Do you want to talk about your attack?"

Levi begins to shake his head, but stops himself. He knows that he needs to share his feelings with someone - even if he feels he doesn't deserve it.

"Well... it wasn't Hange's identity that caused the attack. It was... the thought of coming out myself." Levi hangs his head, not wanting to look the others in the eye.

"Levi!! Really? I'm so proud of you for telling us!" Hange exclaims excitedly.

"Yeah... I'm... um... I'm gay." Levi admits. He finally works up the nerve to look Erwin in the eye, and is surprised to see the commander's eyes shining.

But he doesn't see that for long. Because Erwin pulls Levi into a kiss.

The captain jolts in surprise. He's obsessed over many possible outcomes, but this... this was not one of them.

He hears Hange gasp and them giggle.

"I'll... give you two some privacy," they laugh, and Levi hears them walk inside.

The captain basks in this moment. What he's been dreaming about for the past year... is actually happening.

Erwin pulls back and clears his throat. "Um... sorry."

"No, it's- it's fine." Levi stutters.

"Uh... I have to go to a meeting. See you later.

"Bye."

And Erwin walks away, leaving behind shallow footprints and a very confused Levi.

(Sorry but I'm trash for Eruri. If you don't ship it, I respect that, but you probably won't enjoy a lot of my AOT content. Just to warn ya! Edit: 3/1/22 I changed the end to go with the story :)
          - Madzzzzie_the_frog ✌︎('ω'✌︎ )