AOT Oneshots

Levi Ackerman - No Choice

Levi Ackerman has rituals and routines that he does on a daily basis. To him, they're natural, but to his friends, not so much...

Levi Ackerman has his rituals, his way of doing things. They've always been a part of him - the urge to keep everything in pristine condition, to avoid something, to keep things in a specific order - and to him, they're as natural as breathing.

So, when his friends Hange and Erwin ask him why he stayed up late to polish his ODM gear over and over, or why he refuses to go inside before he's laid all the training equipment in a very specific order, or why he cleans every window twice, he just shrugs. He just... needs to.

Levi walks into Hange's room with Erwin on a free day, holding his ODM gear and the cleaning supplies. As usual, he stops in the doorway to touch the side 10 times. Hange looks at him quizzically.

"Why do you always do that? Is the doorframe broken or something?"

"Oh, no," he replies, "this is just to keep us safe."

"What do you mean?" Erwin asks.

"I mean, if I don't touch the doorframe, something bad will happen to us."

"Um... ok," Hange says, confusion on their face. "Anyway, is it true that Mikasa was sleepwalking the other night? I wish I had been there... I've always found sleepwalking fascinating! My theory is that..."

Levi tunes the section commander out as he begins polishing his gear. As they ramble on, he cleans each gear and strap and checks to make each screw is tight. Once everything is perfect, he starts over again.

"Didn't you just do that?" Erwin asks.

"Yeah, but what if I missed something? Then, my gear might fail in the middle of a mission, and I or someone else could be eaten by a titan, and then-"

"Slow down! You didn't miss anything, I just watched you. Besides, your gear has never failed before." the commander says.

"Yeah, because I always check it 3 times!"

"Why do you do all of these... routines? You know touching the wall or cleaning everything isn't what keeps us safe, right?"

"How do you know? What if I forget to do them one day, and a titan attacks? Or we all get sick? Or-"

Erwin places a hand over his, which is nervously polishing the same area over and over. "Levi, I promise you, that won't happen. Have you always done these sort of things?"

"Well, yeah! Wait, do you mean..." he looks between them, feeling stupid. "You think there's something wrong with me? You guys think I'm crazy?"

"No, of course we don't think you're crazy," Hange assures him. "Have you ever heard of OCD?"

He shakes his head.

"It stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Basically, it means that you have rituals that you feel like you have to do, or something bad will happen. It can also cause intrusive thoughts. Have you ever constantly thought about doing something bad even if you didn't really want to, or not been able to get a thought out of your head?"

Levi nods. He had thought it was something everyone had.

"Ok, well, how about tomorrow you try not doing one of your routines. Say, only check your ODM gear once."

"But-" Levi begins. His heart beats faster just thinking about it.

"Don't worry, I'll help you." Erwin smiles. Levi takes a breath and nods. "I'll try."

Hange grins reassuringly. "Good. Over time you can start to take away more and more of the rituals. I don't think they'll ever be completely "gone", per say, but you'll be able to ignore them for the most part."

Over the next few weeks, Levi begins to cut more of his routines. He only polishes his gear once, he doesn't tap the doorway... and nothing bad happens. He slips up a few times, of course, but Hange and Erwin help. They're right - he'll never be completely free of compulsions and intrusive thoughts. But he's getting better. And he'll be damned if he lets OCD control him.

(Hey guys! Sorry I didn't update yesterday, I was really busy. I might start updating once every other day instead of every day so I can focus on the writing quality and finding a good idea.)
- Madzzzzie_the_frog ✌︎('ω'✌︎ )