The Stag and The Harpy | James Potter

Life

Harry, 

I hope that this letter finds you when you need it the most. When your body aches with exhaustion, when your heart grows weary. I hope you wont need it, that the world will be kinder when I am gone. 

I'm not exactly sure how to begin, in fact i've never been very good at just starting. 

Your mother was always better at that. 

I want you to know that I don't regret any of it. Meeting your mother, tormenting her all those years until i harassed her enough to addle her decision making. I don't regret the time i wasted pining after her when i hadn't realized that was what i'd been doing for so long. All of the faux hate, the arguments, the glares. Merlin, I don't regret that at all. I don't regret loving her, needing her, marrying her. 

I don't regret you. 

If you are anything like your mother, which I am certain you will be, you will assume that none of this would have happened had you never been born. Harry, I don't regret any of it. I don't regret crying when your mother finally plucked up the courage to tell me she was pregnant with you. I don't regret the late nights, the early mornings. I savor them. I savor every little fibre of your being, and in turn I thank you. Having you gave me another piece of your mother, it eroded the last bit of self doubt she had. Thank you, Harry. I don't regret any of it. 

In the end, I think I always knew I wasn't meant to live forever. I figured my karma would catch up to me at some point, that my timeline wasn't meant to be very long. Your mother's is. Your mother is meant to grace the earth for eons, to touch the hearts of people with just her simple smile or her eye-rolls. She is a sassy one, our Phoebe. Your mother is beautiful, Harry. Not because of what she is. It's who she is. In spite of the pain, in spite of the looks and the history of her existence, your mother is a gift. It is the only Slytherin trait i will claim, my selfishness when it comes to your mother. She gave me you. She gave me everything. 

When this next part comes, I want you to know that if love were enough for me to stay then i would be here. Love should be enough. The love i have for you, for your mum. It should be enough. I wish it was. 

I need you to do this for me, Harry. I need you to remember that Dad loves you. That Mum loves you. When your world feels like it's caving in, when you begin to feel the darkness of self doubt, remember that love was enough to bring you into this world. Being scared is okay, Harry. I've been scared of some of the most important moments in my life. But life...life is beautiful. You just have to be brave enough to face it.

Your mum made me brave. 

You keep me brave.

I love you, Harry. Always. 

Your Dad. 

The noise that pierced Godric's Hollow on October 31, 1981 sounded like fireworks. Loud, crackling and booming that could almost be misconstrued as celebratory. 

Lily Evan's was the first to lift her head from the jigsaw puzzle laid out on the Potter's rug. Harry had a piece grasped tightly in his hand, a smile on his chubby-cheeked face. Phoebe closes her eyes, and the sound rings out again. 

That sound.

 The sound of her heart breaking, her lungs seizing in her hollow chest. 

James climbs to his feet, eyes wide behind his wire spectacles. He opens his mouth, but she already knows. She knows what he is going to say. She's known for some time.