《R18+》Cigno Fanciulla | Scaramouche

□ Act III | Chapter IX

Cigno Fanciulla Act III: Armonia Entropica

《 Chapter IX - Embers 》

And when the tempest meets the pile of frost, it appears in a flurry of snow blown into the wind like tiny specs of dust: a fleeting moment of beauty, elegance, and fragility that turns into a cold dreary tragedy.

Thus, the only way to combat such extremity is to rely on the tiny embers that burn.

While the Traveller recovered and underwent training in order to defeat Ei, the Raiden Shogun, I was confined to a waiting room filled with ancient records - in hopes to uncover the truth that has been hidden from me for a long time.

Prior to this, Yae Miko gave me a word of advice. She told me - "When I return, I shall reward your patience. But, for now, feel free to browse to your heart's content."

And that is precisely how I ended up sifting through timeless information one by one, leaving no space behind to grieve or to breathe from the exhausting events of earlier today.

I wasn't really the type to get stuck on things enough to put my life on hold, instead, I was someone who would rather bury herself in a pile of work or a strict schedule to ease my mind up until I would not be able to identify what caused my distress in the first place.

Thinking back on it, this specific trait was my own survival instinct.

It always aided me to think with a clear mind without being clouded by emotions; to prioritize what was of utmost importance even if it meant paying little attention to my own issues; and to function beyond function every single time.

I guess this is just how a soldier's destiny has been, and will always be: being at constant war, numbed to the sensation of pain out of convenience, fighting for the greater cause with the cost of either their humanity or their lives. 

Maybe that's why it felt rather easy to take in the fact that the Balladeer was not human, because to people like us - we only feel betrayal if we are to know that is either to have lost our cause, or to find out that our cause was not truly what we were fighting for.

As the tears silently roll down my cheeks, my heart sank as it finally sinks in - as I finally understood that I have been played and toyed with. However, I felt more angry for the innocent who had been dragged into the Fatui's mess. 

I was fortunate enough to have kept my code of morals, even if it led me to disobey or to sabotage some of the Fatui's orders. But, I suddenly thought about those who were not fortunate enough - who were left to succumb and to be corrupted by its vile nature.

Childe, Lyney, and Lynette - they were only children; and Her Majesty... She couldn't be that cruel, right? It wasn't her fault. Scaramouche said so, right? That the one behind all of these evil deeds were Pedrelino - not the Lady Tsaritsa.

It cannot be my saviour. It cannot be with her pure heart.

No matter what I choose to believe in now, I had to swallow in my tears as the door opened - a sign that the Chief Priestess of the Shrine has finally found time to grace me with her presence.

"How is it that every time I happen to see you, it is when the appearance of a child that I am faced with?" Yae Miko's jests were of truth - referring my child-like manner towards the strong waves of emotions that wash over my soldier-like persona.