Stealth. (FtM Karl)

Control

Sorry y'all I got distracted by a book I was reading.
The song of Achilles anyone? :')

Third person pov:

Karl told Wilbur what happened; how he had found the courage to tell Sap how he felt, how Sapnap requited such feelings, how Karl had to pause the moment they were having to confess that he was transgender, and how he left; describing Sapnap's reaction in detail, remembering every moment.

A study shows that 60% of our memories are fake. Altered by your own perception and self image.

From Karl's perspective, Sapnap's eyes of confusion and bewilderment were seen as ones of regret and disappointment. He truly believed that the boy was looking for a polite excuse, that he felt disillusioned and deceived, disgruntled by something Karl cannot control.

Wilbur listened quietly, his face making subtle changes in expression as Karl told his side of the story. He concentrated, hard, picking every detail; he was determined to help out Karl.

Wilbur didn't care much about transgender people before Tommy came out, hell, he didn't even know what the definition of it was. He's ashamed to admit it, but before Tommy, the only impression he had of trans people was the misinformation spread by cis people in his school.
But then Tommy came along, adopted by Phil just like them, Phil had wanted a daughter when Wilbur wanted a brother. Guess Wilbur won.
Tommy came out almost two years after he had been adopted, he had known for four. He had expressed to Wilbur afterwards, in private, during an educational conversation about the topic, just how terrified he was to come out.
And this broke Wilburs heart.
He had heard, from someone who had experienced it first hand, the pain and the struggles trans people go through on a daily. Things no cis person ever think about. It was almost like daily routine to them now.

Because of this, Wilbur felt strongly towards helping trans people, and as a cis man he knew he couldn't fully understand what they were going through, but regardless, he could spot transphobia from a mile away and always stepped in.
For Tommy, and for anyone unlucky enough to be harassed for something they can't control.

After hearing Karl's story, he had come to a conclusion.

"You wanted rejection." The brunette stated, rather direct and expressionless.
His sudden answer shocked the other teen, he had hoped for advice, or just any answer at all, some kind of insight on the situation.
But this isn't what he was expecting.

"No. No I wasn't hoping for rejection. I really like Nick." He denied.

"I know." He muttered, nodding in agreement, "but you were still, like you said, expecting rejection." He reminded.

Karl sighed, tilting his head back slightly, leaning it against the wall, "what does that he to do with anything?"

Wilbur shrugged, "I think you are so fixed on getting rejected that you realised it would be easier. I believe that you are afraid of rejection and so you prevented it from happening by exiting the situation and avoiding the possibility of a relationship all together." He explained, "you were scared, and your anxiety didn't help. You're self conscious and so you made a prediction that is based off of your own views about yourself." He stated.
Feeling targeted, Karl tilted his head back down to face the boy, opening his mouth to speak, but Wilbur was faster, "you like Sapnap, but you refuse to believe that anyone can love you back because you do not love yourself because of who you are. That is transphobic, Karl. Don't be transphobic." He joked.

Karl didn't have time to appreciate his joke, he was repeating Wilburs words in his head. 'You were scared', 'afraid of rejection', 'avoiding the possibility of rejection', 'you don't love yourself'.
It all made perfect sense.
But that just felt too easy... there's no way Wilbur could read him like an open book like that.

Wilbur frowned at the boys frozen look. He stared blankly at the wall behind the brunette. Wilbur rearranged his limbs into a more comfortable position and just watched the cogs turn in Karl's mind, patiently.

"I don't get it." Karl frowned.
"You will."
"It wasn't supposed to go this way."
"I know."

Karl huffed, letting his head fall into his knees, releasing from of them pressure. Trying to think as he closed his eyes, he picked at his hardly painted nails, most of the varnish had been picked off in past anxious events. He subconsciously moved on to the sides of his nails, the skin and the small, rare, cracks and dents around the top.

Wilbur reached over and intervened, placing his hands in between Karl's, blocking them, knowing it was an um-healthy, nervous habit.
Karl squeezed his hands into fists, tightly closed, stopping himself from continuing to fidget.
"Sorry."
"It's alright, you're fine."

They sat there for a moment, the silence was soon interrupted with a sigh from Karl, "I need to go and talk to him don't I."
"Yeah, you should," The brunette responded, "but you don't have to will you're ready to."
Karl's shook his head, "no, this is my fault. I need to go and talk to him." He decided.

Wilbur smiled at this, he was sure that Nick would never say or do anything like he had previously assumed, he was just upset earlier, he himself owed Nick an apology.
He stood up, dusting himself off before offering Karl a hand. "Better now than ever though right?"

"Yeah I guess" he took his hand, the boy lifted him up swiftly, Karl repeated Wilburs actions, dusting himself off, "and, since when are you so wise?"
"Karl, I swear we've had this exact conversation before."
"Most likely."

The bell rang.

"Right, off we go. I think Sapnap is still in the music room." Wilbur announced.
They opened the door and slipped out, quite a few students already on their way to lesson passing by, looking at the two completely oblivious boys, some smirked and others gawking.

But the two had more important matters to attend to.