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Thomas Shelby never asked for devotion, despite his God amongst mortals attitude, the ice blue eyed man had never asked for pure adrenaline driven dedication. Loyalty however, loyalty was like oxygen. Without it he became delirious, violent and irrationally wild. Loyalty used to be a word encrusted with fine jewels, dripping in gold but now loyalty was paired with a metallic crimson. And when Tommy didn't get loyalty all of Small Heath knew it. His craving for security and importance stemmed from his childhood, even before the Great War the Shelby family were no strangers to hardship. Inconsistency was a heart-aching norm. It was understandable he didn't have a normal childhood, it was the curse and blessing of Small Heath. Perhaps that was why the dark haired man practically collapsed in front of Y/N L/N's feet upon his return from the blood-soaked fields. She was the consistency his now hardened heart craved. She was a sign of hope, she was a future that he'd die for. Standing at y/h with y/h/c locks, the young girl he'd left behind had turned into a woman, her smile was still the same. Somewhere along the way the y/s/c woman had lost her sparkle. The fiery girl had dulled into dying embers. Thomas forgot this wasn't one of Y/N's elegant stories, the chance of a happy ending were dwindling before his very own eyes. It was like trying to catch sand with your bare hands, trying to stem the bleeding when you knew the self-inflicted wound was beyond saving.
He'd never wanted to crush her spirit like a meadow daisy in his enclosed fist. He'd convinced himself that he was protecting her. Keeping her close, shut away from the dangers of this new world. Loving her had always felt easy, it wasn't a chore like the rest of his life, he didn't have to hide behind the infamous Shelby mask. He just expected Y/N to be there. Always. And that was his first mistake. The pale man had lectured himself enough times as he nursed a whiskey, lectured himself to the brink of insanity. She deserved better, deserved better than him. He was a broken man, a monster and he was poisoning her.
"I can change eh... I'll do better." Tommy mumbled his voice hoarse as he watched Y/N packing her things, the air full of tension and not the good kind. This time there would be no romantic reunion like the pictures portrayed. His lip's wouldn't gaze against her shoulder blade repeatedly as he mumbled breathy compliments. Her merlot painted fingernails wouldn't carve themselves into his pale sometimes bruised skin. He'd grown attached to the familiar sting left by her dancing fingers. "I know Tom... It's just not enough." the y/h/c woman explained tenderly, shooting the man a tight-lipped smile, attempting to hold back the pained sobs that begged to break free. Y/N couldn't help but feel like a complete bitch for doing this to him... to the both of them but she needed somebody, she couldn't deal with being in a relationship with a ghost anymore. He was never there anymore and when he was... it was only physically. Mentally he was miles away, fighting the darkness alone. Tommy wanted to be strong, to be stoic. He didn't want to be broken or weak but how could he portray a calculated sternness. How could he be austere and stony when his heart's foundation was leaving him.
"Where will you go?" the brunet male asked the silent air, part of him hoping she'd crack, realise what a mistake she was making and embrace him words of reassurance tumbling from her cherry lips. She'd hold him, perhaps sing the lullaby she knew like the back of her hand. The action was small but it was all the Peaky could focus on, the soothing movements had always calmed him but the y/h/c woman was standing so far away it was like an ocean was between them. Pausing her packing Y/N sniffled slightly, the salty tears trying to escape had won and were now making paths down her y/s/c face. "I don't know Tom.. maybe London?" Y/N trailed off quietly, The Shelby was just being polite, he disliked silence. Tommy claimed a loving home shouldn't be silent for a second, but the couple's home had plummeted in a ghostly silence. It was almost like the four walls were also mourning the end of the relationship.
Neatly folding her last piece of clothing before closing the worn piece of luggage Y/N took a deep breath. "Move aside Thomas." Y/N mumbled fighting to keep her hands to herself, she knew if she touched him even if it was just to remove him as an obstacle she'd crumble into his arms. "No." The man's voice broken like a scratched record trying to stumble its way through a song. "Tommy, please don't make this any harder than it has to be." the y/h woman argued miserably, Finally taking a step forward awkwardly, almost like he was approaching an injured rabbit, the tall man paused. Thomas Shelby didn't like being vulnerable, "Don't leave me."
