My Dear Dumb Diary,
Wowie.
Oh my god.
Oh my god????
You'll never fucking guess.
You can try but you never will.
I feel great. Life's so fucking great. My life especially. Everything's amazing.
I won't spoil it yet, I'll work up to it. I will, I will.
It started shit. I went into school. James tried to beat me up, a bit, and kind of succeeded because my face was already fucked so I bled a bit, but only because he opened another wound.
A couple of em.
I ran away. Too tired for a fight.
And I went into the bathroom.
And cried a bit because it hurt. That was it. And I tried to clean myself up with some blue paper towels (everyone knows they fix everything) and my god you'll never guess who walked in.
Yeah it was Alex.
And he was so nice. And I wish I could remember the words that he said. But oh my god, he's so handsome. He's so handsome.
And he offered to help me. So I let him.
And it was cute. He was focusing, and he had one hand holding my face gently, and the other trying to wipe the blood.
And I kept looking in his gorgeous eyes. And he kept getting distracted and looking at my eyes. And he smiled. And he has the most beautiful smile.
Then, I was looking down at his lips, at his smile. But his hand stopped moving. And he looked up at my eyes. And I stopped, and looked at his.
And it's like time stopped, or slowed down. Everything just wasn't, and I could hear his breath, I could feel his breath.
And he looked down at my lips. Then back up at me.
And I gulped, nervous.
And he kissed me.
YOU HEARD ME DEAREST. HE KISSED ME.
He kissed me, he kissed me, he kissed me, he kissed me, he kissed me, he kissed me, he kissed me, he kissed me, he kissed me, he kissed me, he kissed me, he kissed me, he kissed me!
Dearest he kissed me. I've never kissed anyone before.
He kissed me. And it was so nice. So so nice.
But it hurt because I cut my lip so he whispered (very sexily mind you), "Sorry," hardly pulling away, but kept kissing me, being careful and gentle and trying to kiss the side of my mouth that wasn't cut. No one has ever done that before.
Any of it!
No one has ever been so considerate about me.
I loved it. And I was so surprised. But I tried my best to kiss him back.
And we were just kissing. And it was fine?
Everything was just ok. Like all of it. Ok.
I felt ok. for once.
His face was so close to mine, and I could feel his breath on my skin. I loved the closeness of him.
But suddenly someone walked past.
And he jumped away from me. And he just stared at me.
He looked so shocked, and slightly sick.
It hurt dearest, it did I won't lie.
He mumbled some sort of apology, and left. He just... left.
The only thing I had time to say was "Wait-" But he left and I was just left stood there.
I don't have math today.
It's Friday. I won't see him until Monday. So now I just have to stop and think about it all and I can't even ask about what happened.
I don't write in you in the weekend, I mostly draw.
Home life's a drag anyway.
My dads a fucking drunk and my siblings are my siblings.
It's not much to tell. I have lots to think about.
Adieu,
Your John
