girl did i forget to update? yes
My Fucking Dearest Diary,
I have been binge listening to The King of Wishful Thinking by Go West so hard, it perfectly describes my situation, go listen to it.
Oh wait, you're a diary. I'll play it for you.
Because I know I'll get over Alex. I know I will. And everyone could use some early 90s songs right now. And always.
It's a banger.
I just have to keep telling myself the chorus. And most of the lyrics. Whenever I see it, I just play the song in my head so I can get over him.
I will.
We weren't much to begin with.
Anyway, he spoke to me today, which sucked. He comes early to school too.
I was blasting the song and trying to ignore him. Then he tapped me on the arm, so I took out one headphone. You know I cant even afford like wireless headphones, and the cheap ones always break.
He said "I can hear your music."
So I said "Good."
He's very observant that asshole. "You've been listening to the same song for 15 minutes."
"It's a good song." I shrug.
"What song is it?"
So I told him. He said he'd listen to it. Which is good because I want him to know I'm over him and he should stop being everywhere I am. He's like a stalker.
LOOK AT THIS, IM STILL LETTING A BOY RUN MY LIFE, HES ALL I TALK ABOUT.
This is stupid. Even why I try to not talk about him he's all I talk about.
Onto a slightly better topic, the dicks were pure shitheads.
I got like ganged up on at lunch. You know when you see all four of them walking towards you and your mind is just like "fuck."
Yeah.
Turns out it was Lafayette who had something against me. He walked up to me and pushed me.
"Why are you following my fucking girlfriend on instagram?" He says. But angrily.
OH MY GODDDDDD THIS CANNOT BE SO BIG OF A THING.
"... Because she followed me?" It's true, she followed me so I panicked and ended up following her back. I have no idea what you're meant to do when someone does that.
My instagram is literally nothing to look at, it's 1/3 my face, 1/3 my cat and half shit posting. Lots of pics of me flipping off school. Too many some would say. Also pride flags.
"Well unfollow her then." He said, like really threateningly.
I've seen her page, it's literally some borderline nsfw stuff, now I know more than ever that I don't like tits. I just followed her because I'm socially awkward. I think her names Adrienne, or something like that. She's quite popular, way out of my circle, like the Schuyler sisters.
I blind, staring at all of them in turn and looking around slightly confused. "I'm gay...?"
"I don't buy it."
I literally laughed out loud. "You what?"
"Why would you follow her?" He glares at me.
"Because she followed me." I deadpan. "I'm gay ok? Gay, gay, gay, I like men. Dick. Boys. I'm not interested in your girlfriend."
"Why would you follow her then?"
They're so fucking stupid.
"I'm not trying to hit on your girlfriend. I like boys. What, do I need to kiss you to prove myself?"
Lafayette reeled away, disgusted, and Thomas stepped forward.
"Look, stop acting like such a queer and this can be over." He tried to smile nicely.
"I don't understand what your problem is. I'm gonna be late to class so I'm leaving." I tried to walk away, but Thomas pushed me back.
"Not so fast freak, I just want to revisit that bit where you said you'd kiss one of us." He grinned sadistically.
"What? That was a joke, disgusting. I'm leaving."
"No you're not."
"What you wanna kiss me? That's kind of gay." I laugh.
"No, but why would you try to hit on Laf?"
"W-what? No I didn't." I frowned.
Thomas grins. "We all saw it. You said you wanted to kiss him. And then you tried to kiss him."
"What the fuck, no I didn't!"
"We all saw it, right guys?" He asks, and they all agree. "How could you do something like that, what, are you trying to turn him gay?"
I started to panic. "What...? No I never-"
"You know he's straight, how could you? Stop trying to convert people into gay perverts like you."
"W-wait, I didn't do anything, I just-"
"God you see this is what's wrong with gay people, you cant keep you hands off of us." He shoves my shoulders and all I can do is stare.
What in the actual fuck is happening?
"I didn't even go near him, I was being sarcastic I-"
"Are you that pathetic and alone that you have to turn straight guys gay to get someone to be with you?" For some reason that really hurt.
That really really hurt.
"But I-"
"Come on, we're leaving before you make any more moves on us." They all left, and I just stood, staring at them.
What the fuck even happened?
No one else was even there to see it so now it's my word against theirs.
My dear diary, I am fucking screwed. Absolutely shitting my fucking pants.
God I'm gonna die.
See you in the next life,
Johnny Boy
