Dearest,
My school life is so busy I often forget to bitch about my home life.
And you know what?
Gods dealt me a really shitty hand because my home life sucks.
Listen, I love my siblings, but I basically have to act like a mom for them, because my dads too fucking lazy to pull his head out of his ass to do parenting.
And when he's not lazy he's drunk.
All the time.
And I fucking hate it.
He's such a shitty father.
Because sometimes he's not shitty.
Like sometimes he can be already and he can parent and try to be a father and smile and be useful and fun.
But that hardly happens.
The bad outweighs the good.
Essentially, he's a stupid drunk who tries to find happiness at the bottom of a bottle, and takes out his frustrations on us when he can't.
Sometimes he throws glass, sometimes he hits, or kicks, or screams, or punches, or chases, or smashes things. I hate him sometimes.
And I'm the eldest and I'm the queer so I have to take most of it.
I've just got to be fine with it and it's not fucking fair.
I don't want to be fine with it.
I want a good life with parents who are both alive and sober and love us, and honestly just that.
That would do it for me.
Fix all my problems.
He threw glass from a bottle at me again. At least it wasn't the whole bottle.
It hit me in the face and now I have a small cute on my forehead and cheek. It kind of hurt, but I cleaned the best I could and slapped a plaster on there and hoped for the best.
Life's not fucking fair.
And the worse thing is no one cares enough to notice.
If even one person came up to me and asked me if I was ok and why I was hurt all the time I would cry and tell them everything.
I'm a pussy.
At least I had the day off of school.
Yours always
J Laurens
