Dearest,
I'm actually going to kill him I fucking swear.
I cant believe they let him back into school.
James completely broke down today.
Just started sobbing in the halls.
He just broke down and started crying.
"I could have stopped him." He sobbed. "I could have fought him off at least. It's all my fault!"
We ushered him into an empty classroom.
"James it is not your fault." I crouched down next to him while he sobs on the floor.
"Yes it is! I could have so easily got away. I practically let him."
"You did not!" Peggy sat down with a thump. "You fucking didn't."
"You weren't there!" He yelled. "It was so easy for me to just leave. I taunted him. I made him do it!"
"James," Alex joined us on the floor, talking very calmly, "You did not. It was not your fault. The school is fucked up for letting him back in. None of it was your fault."
He just broke into sobs.
"I taunted him into it." He managed to get out between cries. "I basically asked him to rape me."
"No one asks for it James. It was not your fault." Peggy pulls him into a hug.
"You weren't there!" He screamed. "I taunted him into this! It was my fault. He never would have don't it if I kept my stupid mouth shut!"
He just burst into tears. He didn't say anything more.
I cried too.
We all sat on the floor and cried with him.
Do you think he even knows what he's done?
What would it take to wipe that stupid smirk off of his face?
If I showed him all this, would he even care?
Would it change anything in him?
Someone has to do something.
I think I'm going insane.
I'm filled with murderous thoughts. I wont promise I cant act on them.
There is little hope left for anyone when faced with a monster like him.
I don't recognise my thoughts sometimes.
I wonder what it would take, to make him change.
My fist?
Shattered glass?
A knife?
A gun?
Pointed straight at his head.
He knows I would shoot him.
Is that what it would take? A bullet through his head for him to fucking stop?
Does someone have to kill him for the rest of us to be happy?
I would.
In a heartbeat.
I have friends and I want them to be happy and so be it I would remove him from this earth if it means that.
I have to stop.
I should go, before you become incriminating evidence for me to get hospitalised again.
All my love,
John
