My Dearest Diary,
Holy fucking shit. Mother of fucking god.
My life can never be simple can it?
Why is everything like some dumb romcom? I wish my mom was here, it's so annoying, she'd know what to tell me.
I really didn't want to go to school.
Why must I let a stupid boy rule my life?
I'm going to pretend I didn't. And that I never knew him.
I really don't want to see him today.
In other news, I think I have really good music taste. Obscure maybe, but really good. If i had friends they'd probably always let me pick the music. It's either 80s or 90s pop, or indie rock from like the late 90s or early 2000s. And Oh, Pretty Woman. It essentially means all the bands I listen to don't make music anymore but that's ok.
I suppose.
I'm mentioning this because I haven't before. Because I let a boy dictate my life. How stupid, I was so busy with that I forgot to tell you. I listen to music in the library most days as I go into school.
Do you think it's bad I unironically enjoy All Star by Smash Mouth?
Yeah, that song from Shrek.
I also play cello. I know. I'm kind of decent at it. Like I'm 1st cello in orchestra. I passed grade 6 with a merit. Which is weird because I barely passed all the other grades. I failed my music theory test first try, then I got it afterward. Now Im kind of failing grade 7.
Im also decent at track. Which is weird because Im good at something for once? Yeah I know the fat tall kid is really good at running. I have the record in the class, which is weird.
Running is so tiring though, but I'm glad I'm good at something for once.
I'm bad at so many things.
Sometimes I still spell cello chello.
You cant judge me.
You're a book.
Technically I can spell how I like.
It's not like you know the difference.
Anyway I digress.
I spent the entire day running away from Alex. Quite literally, if I saw him I just ran in the other direction.
I think he noticed.
Which isn't great for me. However, at least he knows I really don't want to speak to him.
I'm taking a break from boys. Not that I was ever really involved with many.
Romance is too confusing. Maybe I'll try again when I'm an adult.
I spent my lunch time in the art room.
I have a semi-decent art teacher. Mrs Washington, she let me stay there when the bullying was really bad, as long as I did a bit or art, even if it was just one paint stoke.
I went back in, and all she said was "Hiding again."
"I'm not hiding." I scowled at her. That's a lie. I was hiding from Alex. I don't think he's into art, he's good at maths and sports, and I'm bad at everything expect art and running. And sort of music, in the sense I can play. What the fuck is music theory?
I ate my lunch, I worked on my art project, which is actually doing kind of good.
And then I had chemistry. Why do the worse subjects always come at the end of the day?
Not to mention James and Hercules are in that class. So I have to put up with that. They always call my name and ask for answers or throw paper at me, or get me in trouble for talking when I turn around and tell them to shut the fuck up.
AND YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT.
THAT FUCKING PRICK ALEX IS NOW IN MY CLASS. He got moved because apparently he's smarter than they thought.
And I have a spare seat next to me. I think
I'm cursed.
I ignore him. And I got into trouble when I turned around and told James to shut up because he kept calling me. Yay, another detention. Could have sworn James and Hercules high fived.
I'm so ignoring Alex. I don't want anything to do with him.
Wish me good luck.
I need it.
Yours always,
Jackie xoxo
