Dearest,
It was awful.
Today was awful.
I want my hair back.
I'm so scared without it.
It feels like I'm missing a protective shield. Everyone keeps staring at me and it's just awful.
I keep my hood up as often as possible but people keep looking.
They know. They all know.
I look so ugly dearest.
I look so fucking ugly.
I hate this, I hate how I look. I want it back. It's gone.
It feels like I'm grieving a person. But I'm not.
Just my stupid hair.
I didn't mean that, it's not stupid. I just miss it so much. God I fucking miss it.
I just want it back.
I'd do anything for it back again. I keep going to touch it behind my head but it's gone. Sweep it off my shoulder, tuck it behind my ears, anything.
Nothings there.
It's so empty. I feel so empty.
I feel so ugly.
Everyone else can see it too. How ugly I am.
They can see it.
They can see how fat I am now. I'm disgusting.
I cried so hard in the bathroom stall at lunch.
I cant do this again tomorrow.
My hands are shaking.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I give in.
Yours,
John
