Watchdogs Imagines

Josh- Deep Conversations

"Are you afraid to die?" I ask Josh one evening as we sit alone together in the hackerspace, the others are all hanging out at some bar, but we're the quiet ones that prefer to relax than party. 

"No, it's inevitable and we're all going to go through it, why be afraid of something that's definite?" Josh asks me, his voice monotone as he clicks away at his laptop. 

Like a meerkat, I peer over the top of the sofa, looking at him questioningly, "True, but everyone's afraid of the unknown, that's what makes death so scary to most" I reply enjoying this deep conversation. 

"Exactly, the fear of death is illogical because we have no clue about it, why be scared of something we'll never know about?" Josh says, turning to face me for a few seconds smiling before turning back to his work. 

I huff and roll of the sofa, too lazy to actually get up. I walk over to him and sit on his desk, Josh peers up at me from where he's sat and raises an eyebrow. I smile back and ask "Do you think birds are scared of death?"

He sighs and runs a hand across his face, he pretends to dislike my silly questions, but I think he actually likes it, a hint of a smile peeks from his mouth as he retorts "Do you think fish are scared of death?" 

I laugh and shrug, grabbing a sweet from a packet he has on his desk, he also takes one and we both enjoy the comfortable silence of him working away and me lost in my own thoughts, I think this is why we get along so well. 

"Josh?" I quietly ask, knowing not to suddenly startle him in the silence, he nods without looking at me, but I can tell his attention is mostly focused on me. 

"Can I hug you?" I softly ask, knowing he'll be honest with me. We sort of have a relationship thing going on, but nothing official, we've kissed a few times and also hug often, but we're both so awkward we know to voice it before actually doing so. 

"Yeah, if you want" Josh replies, moving his chair backwards a little so I can reach down and hug him, but out of the blue he tugs me onto his lap. I feel his body shaking a little and I know he's as nervous as I am, but we're trying. 

I cuddle his chest whilst sitting on his lap, and he wraps his arms around me and buries his head into my neck, giving it a very small peck. I smile and close my eyes, savouring his clean scent and warmth. 

"Coconut" Josh randomly mumbles, I nod, knowing he's referring to the scent of my shampoo. I take a deep breath before going to move away, Josh has told me before that he can only tolerate short periods of physical contact at a time due to his Asperger's,  but his arms tighten around me, "Are you sure?" I gently ask him, he doesn't say anything, just nods and stays still. 

We stay like that for a while until feel my leg going to sleep, I slowly move to get up and Josh lets me go, I smile down at him and he grabs my hand and holds it whilst I wiggle my leg around. 

Suddenly the noise of the hackerspace door breaks our peace and the drunk voices of Marcus, Sitara and Wrench grow closer, I laugh and roll my eyes before going to greet them and play mother hen.