The Shine

Every little thing I do is magic

Magic works by manipulating the energy. Some people call the energy mana, which is dumb. Some people call it quintessence which is also dumb. Some call it chi, which I think is dumb too but I don't say that it's dumb because it might be racist to say that.

The first guy that told me about magic called it ñeque, I don't know what that means.

This energy is all over the place but mostly it's in living things. Everyone has a little magic in them but not much. I'm training myself to store more energy. It takes a while to really build up a good reserve.

You can get this energy inside people and us it for yourself. One way is by killing them, which works great but has the drawback of being evil. If it needs to be said I don't do that.

Another way is for people to give you their energy. It doesn't work as well and sine each person has so little energy you need a lot of them. That's why magic people like starting cults so much. Plus they get the normal benefits of being a cult leader. It's pretty evil too, but I suppose it doesn't have to be. There could be a benevolent cult.

That's what all that chanting and rituals are about. That's how non-magic people focus their energy and pass it to the magic person doing the magic. What they're doing is all nonsense, it doesn't matter what the ceremony is as long as it concentrates people's thoughts on you and passing the energy along. Doing magic is hard, you need a lot of energy to do anything, which is why it helps to have a throng of followers feeding it to you.

The closest thing I ever had to a cult is Eric. Eric looked like the Macho Man only not muscular. What he looked like a cross between the Macho Man and that goofy skinny kid who was in all the teen sex movies in the 2000s. That guy was in an episode of Breaking Bad too. He was the undercover cop who got Badger.

Even if I wanted to I'd have problem with attracting cult followers. I move around too much for one. To get a good cult going you need a base of operations. Eric the skinny Macho Man did some kind of customer service job. He traveled around with me for a while, I'd be driving to my next booking and he'd be sitting in the seat next to me with a laptop and a headset on taking calls. To this day I have no idea what people were calling him to help them with. Something about mortgages or bankruptcy maybe.

I met him when he came up to me after a show geeking out. He was my first big fan. And my only big fan so far. I was flattered until and asked me if he could buy my ring gear. This is a gross thing some women do.

Once I told him about magic he wanted me to cast a spell to make his ex-wife take him back. I don't know any such spell and even if I didn't have done it. His ex-wife did take him back because she got knocked up and needed help with her bills. Eric the skinny macho man gave me the credit for it anyway.

I'm not sure how to swing it but if I could get a traveling cult going that would really be helpful. I don't understand how they get money. Those people that follow Phish around in concert, how do they make a living and afford Phish merchandise?

Besides giving me their magic juice, they could all come to my shows as well and cheer for me. It would help me get booked if I had brought a couple dozen fans buying tickets to every show I worked. Plus maybe they would have a camper van and I wouldn't have to sleep in my car.

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