The Shine

Promotional consideration paid for by the following

Promo (professional wrestling slang/jargon) - promo is short for "promotional interview", a dialogue or monologue used to help the audience identify or dislike a wrestling persona or advance a storyline. The act of delivering such an interview is known as cutting a promo.

Since I was just ripping my co-workers for not being creative in gimmicks I'll continue by ripping on their lack of promo creativity as well. One of the worst promo moves that men love to do is giving their "tale of the tape" which is to say they shout into the mic how tall they are and how much they weigh. It's totally stupid.

One time I was in a promo battle with a dude and after he spit-sprayed on me that he was 6 foot 3 250 pounds I asked what his blood type was and what his GPA was and said that I needed a few more vital statistics like his blood pressure and HDL before I could be afraid of him.

The crowd laughed so of course I was in trouble once we got backstage. He threw a chair and everything because he doesn't do "that comedy shit". I asked him if that was true why he was acting like a clown. Just like Howard Stern ass cheeks man the other night I thought he might hit me. I'm sure he would have if I was a man, mostly because he said "If you were a man I'd beat your balls off."

Irony?

I get shit for my promos and I don't know for if it's because I suck or because of gender stuff. Think about women wrestlers who are a great promo. Who are you thinking about? No one because there aren't any? Is that because there really aren't or because wrestling fans are monster who hate women? I don't know.

Example, I'm on a "family friendly" show and the guy before me is all fuck this and fuck that and fuck you and suck my dick and that's fine, but I get in trouble for saying that Union City is a meth-belt hicktown populated by cousin humpers and that my opponent lost because she fights like a virgin on prom night because it's not "appropriate".

Is that legit feedback or am I just being held down because of my lack of balls?

I will admit that I haven't figured out where the line is. As a heel you're supposed to make people hate you but some things are out of bounds even in wrestling. On the other hand I want to say something interesting. I get that wrestling is a limited format in a way but you can't have everyone on the show saying "I'm going to kick your ass" over and over. That's boring.

If I wrestle a guy 100% he's going to call me a bitch, if I wrestle a woman 100% she's going to call me a slut, ugly, or an ugly slut. Yet if I say to that guy that I forgive him for calling me a bitch because I know that he and his wife have been trying to get pregnant for two years and it's not happening so he's under a lot of stress and he doesn't really mean it, or I say to that woman that it's ironic for her to call me a slut since I subscribe to her Onlyfans and I saw her shoving a mango up her butt the other day I get in trouble.

At the PC they have make-up class and social media class but they also have promo class. I wonder what they tell you in promo class. That one might actually help me. 

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