The Shine

Sir how would you like to hit a woman for money?

Today I got to thinking about my future. Long drives are good for introspection. There's only so many podcasts and audible books you can consume in 8 hours.

I got into the business to make money, which is stupid because there's very little money to be had. In my defense I didn't have a lot of other offers on the table. Piling mistake on top of that mistake, I'm not really being very smart about it trying to make money.

I listened to Mick Foley's book a while back and something he wrote has been on my mind. He said that for most of his career he had concentrated so much on being good at getting his ass kicked that when he had a chance to get the spotlight for himself, he didn't have any moves to use on other people. I might be making that mistake.

Lock up, throw some punches and kicks, then I get my ass kicked for most of the match. I'm early in my career but I'm not that early. That's not a good way to get a chance to shine. If someone did give me a chance to be in the top spot, what would I do? If you're going to be the main event you need to show off.

I'm not completely stupid, I know that someone with my looks is never going be on tv, but if I'm going to make a living I should be trying to make a living. I should have a finish, I should have some music, I should have a gimmick. It doesn't need to be anything flashy, just something people remember. Like the radio DJ that was going to fight a porn star, it's asinine but I remember it.

Maybe I could do something where I come out to the ring and challenge any man in the crowd to fight me. Declare myself the intergender champion of the world and do a sexism gimmick. Find some kid from a local wrestling school to put in the crowd as a plant and kick his ass. I may or may not suck at cutting promos, but I'm not going to get better by not doing trying. I wonder how much it would cost to have a custom championship belt made. Not zero probably. It's probably too late to hit the Andy Kaufman estate sale.

One thing I could do is work on a spell that could summon a kendo stick or other gimmick to my hand. That's a spot that would pop. Distract the ref and then a weapon appears out of nowhere and I use it. That's the great thing about wrestling, people are expecting to be fooled. I could do some magic like that and no one would even think about it. They'd assume it was a trick.

If this is going to be my profession, I should put a little more effort into it. I would like to live in an apartment someday instead of a car.

Or at least a nicer car. 

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