I've never hurt anyone before. Not like that I mean. Seems like I should feel something. Shame. Pride. Anger. Joy. Something.
I don't.
In wrestling locker rooms I hear a lot of bar fight stories. At least 80% of it is bullshit. That other 20% is still a lot of fighting. I never hear the tellers of these tales show much remorse. Most of them are bragging. Any guilt is very mild. The level of guilt I feel when I accidentally cut someone off in traffic and think "oh shit" and forget about it.
There's this Hawaiian wrestler called Big Joe. Not very imaginative. A guy in a bar grabbed Big Joe's girlfriend's ass so he threw that guy through a window. That guy got a piece of glass jammed in the back of his head and it killed him.
It was a freak thing. Big Joe felt bad about it. But not much. Less than hitting a stray dog with your car. I always thought he was a fucking psycho. I guess I'm no better. Maybe no one is.
The cop who looked like someone's dad instead of the cop that looked like a frightened teenager told me that the guy I fucked up is Andrew Rentzel. He's a known asshole and registered sex offender. Did you know that sex offenders have their DNA on file?
Because of that, they should know pretty soon if Andrew killed Stella. Which he did. That was her name. No reason not to say it now.
Andrew and his asshole sex offender buddies do shit like smashing up cars at dealerships, burning pentagrams into people's lawns, and sharking. That's where attack a woman on the street, rip her clothes off and post the video online so other assholes can tell you how great you are at taking women down a peg. If you didn't know what sharking is.
The cops are going to check the DNA with some of these other asshole sex offender buddies to see who else is involved. The cop was stunned that this gang had escalated from smashing cars and tearing off women's clothing to rape-murder.
I don't know why he was so surprised, seems like the natural next step to me.
After the cops left, I slept in the back of my car for a couple hours and then started cyber-stalking Andrew. He was part of the Society for Creative Anachronism so I pegged him correctly.
I found a ton of posts about him and another guy, Craig Heatherton, getting kicked out of the SCA for simulating rape, starting fires, and beating the shit out of people for real. I found a video Andrew and Craig posted laughing about how they busted a guy's arm with a mace. They thought that was very funny.
Craig is also a registered sex offender. I assume the cops will match his DNA to Stella's body also. That's going to take time. I'm not interested in waiting.
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